The One who Almost got Away
by keeptheworldbeneathmyfeet
Summary: Lillian is struggling as a farmer in Konohana. After her most recent breakup with a flower seller, she begins to think to the boy who got away. She decides she has to move on until he shows up in town as the new mail carrier! Dirk has come to town to nurse his broken heart but his friendship with Lillian makes him wonder if love is closer than he thought.
1. The problems with nostalgia

AN: Hello everyone! Keeptheworldbeneathmyfeet here! So this is my second fanfiction. I do plan on finishing the Heart of Life but i had such a good idea that i had to start writing this as well. I'll be doing both at the same time! Hope you all enjoy! I don't own any of these characters as well!

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><p>"No you're the cutest." Kana kissed Georgia on the nose while she giggled.<p>

"Nah, you're the cutest." She spoke in her southern drawl, which made her statement even more adorable.

"Both of you are going to make me sick." I finally said. I had been staring at my tea cup for the past ten minutes, trying to ignore the love sickness brewing between my two friends, "If you two are going to keep being this disgustingly cute, I'm going to need something stronger than tea."

"Aw don't be that way Lillian!" Kana exclaimed, "I would say you're just jealous but you have a boyfriend of your own! Where is Cam?"

"They broke up!" Georgia looked at me sympathetically, "Lillian broke Cam's little ol' heart."

"Okay, I didn't break his heart. I just realized that we weren't meant for each other. We're still going to be friends." I explained, "He understood."

"You're a little heartbreaker Lillian," Georgia giggled, "Country stars will write songs about you."

"Georgia, if you call me a heartbreaker again I will tell your father where you spend your days off." I said with a devious smile. Kana and Georgia had been dating in secret since the beginning of the year. They lived in two separate villages. Georgia lived in Bluebell, while Kana and I lived in Konohana. There was a lot of rivalry and animosity between the two towns, especially among the elders. But us younger generation didn't understand why there such hatred between the towns. I didn't quite understand either when I first moved. I lived in Bluebell my first spring but I decided to move to Konohana for the summer and fall in order to have a larger crop field. As much as I loved my cow Betsy and my chicken Dali, they weren't giving me enough of an income to live comfortably. I had friends in both villages and watched as my friends snuck around their parents back to see the others. We all got together every second and fourth Saturday of the month and had a large bonfire on the mountaintop. I had watched as Kana and Georgia defy everything they were taught and fall in love. It was like a modern day Romeo and Juliet but hopefully with a happier ending. Since Kana lived on his own, Georgia would tell her father she was spending the day on the mountain but in reality be in Konohana, looking after Kana's horses till he closed up shop. Then they would cook dinner together and I was usually the lucky third-wheel.

"You wouldn't dare!" She gasped loudly, "He would take me straight to Rutger who would tell me that Konohana was like Hell or something!" She nestled herself under Kana's arm. He kissed the top of her head.

"Lillian, how did you know Cam wasn't meant for you?" Kana inquired.

I thought for a second, "I didn't have that feeling deep down inside myself that told me it was love. I've had it before and when I was with Cam, I didn't feel it. I mean sure, I probably could have grown to love Cam but it wouldn't have been the same. I'm sounding pretty cliché, but I want a love that consumes every nerve and fibre of my being." I stirred my pinkie in my tea.

"So you've been in love with someone like that before?" Kana asked.

"Yeah…" I thought back to the young boy with the brown hair.

"Tell us!" Georgia clapped her hands together, "You rarely talk about your past!"

"There's nothing to tell," I shrugged, "It was a summer romance that never had any romance. I was in love with a boy who didn't even realized I existed."

"I don't care!" Georgia stated, "I want to hear it!"

"Alright, fine. I warned you, there is no happy ending in this story." I signed, "So when I was 15, my parents decided to take me away for the summer season. I had finished school for the semester and they thought it would be a nice treat. They had recently heard of this revival of the Bazaar in Zephyr Town. It had declined in recent years but now this young female farmer had revived it all by herself. So we went. We booked a room at the inn for the whole season. Zephyr was nothing like the city, it only two a few minutes to see everything it had to offer. The people were nice but more comfortable with each other rather than strangers. I was 15 and I had no friends. Well until I met this young boy. His name was Kevin and he loved pulling pranks on people. He'd find bugs and then put them in people's clothes or something like that.

"Kevin was 13, so he was only one of the people around my age. I spent a lot of time with him over the summer. Through him is how I met Dirk." Just speaking his name made my heart ache, "He was 18. He worked at the restaurant as a waiter. He was the younger brother of the tutor in town, but I can't recall his name now. He was so…." I sighed, "cool." Georgia giggled.

"It sounds like a teenage crush to me."

"That's what I thought it was. I barely spoke to him. He was three years older than me so he was that unattainable older guy I was never going to have. He would hang out with Kevin and they would find bugs together. Dirk acted like Kevin was his younger brother rather than the town prankster. I swear I only spoke to him a few times but he knew my name. I had fallen out of a tree on the last week I was in Zephyr and he was the one who found me. I was trying to get this stupid eagle feather I had seen in a nest. I had a horrible gash down the side of my knee, which would not stop bleeding. Dirk carried me to their doctor and waited as I got stitched up. He let me practically break his hand as I got the stitches and watched over till my parents came rushing from the inn. That's when I knew I was in love with a guy who I could never have."

"So what happened?" Kana asked.

"What do you mean 'what happened'?"

"After you fell? Did you guys see each again? Did you kiss him? Please tell me you kissed him!" Georgia grilled me with questions.

I shook my head, "Nothing. He came to say goodbye to me and my parents. He had gotten to know them since he was giving them their food at the restaurant. He gave me the feather I had been trying to get out of the tree when I fell…he climbed up there himself to get it back for me. Now I know you both wish that then we communicated when I got home and fell in love. But that's not what happened. I never heard from him again. Besides I knew he had feelings for that female farmer who had revived the Bazaar. When you saw her walk down the road, all the boys stopped to watch her even Dirk."

"So he's the one who got away." Kana nodded.

I shook my head; "I think you need to have the guy in order for that to work. He's not the one who got away, just the one who never was." I looked at the clock on the wall, "Shoot, I got to go. I have to put Betsy back in the barn. I can't believe it's 6 already. Thanks for the tea guys, have a good night!" I waved at them.

"Night Lillian!" Kana called out from his kitchen as I walked out the store door. It was summer so it was still quite warm, even for the evening. I walked slowly from Kana's to my farm. Talking about the past like that always put me in a slump. It's been six years since that summer yet I couldn't shake it. Maybe it was the thought that I could have missed out on something amazing by not acting on my feelings. Dirk was not the reason my relationships didn't work out. But I've never met someone who made me feel the way I felt about him. I bet he married that beautiful farmer and they must have like three kids by now. He'd run his own booth at the Bazaar and cook for her every night, while I barely can make myself rice without somehow burning it and I barely make enough to scrape by. Luckily the people here understand so I can barter or trade to get goods. Doing errands for them also helps. I kicked a rock on the ground in frustration. This isn't exactly what I thought my life would be like.

Betsy mooed happily when I walked onto the farm. My dogs barked at me and jumped up to be petted. Whenever I felt sad, my animals knew how to make me feel better. They loved me unconditionally, no questions asked. I heard a loud hoot and my owl Athena flew from the roof of my house and onto my shoulder. I stroked my finger between her eyes and she nipped me playfully.

"Come on Betsy, time to go inside." I pushed her towards the barn door. The dogs barked and she quickened up her pace. My cat, Snowball, had already but the chicken inside their coop. Athena flew off my shoulder and into the trees, she's going hunting for herself tonight. Byron, the horse I had rented off of Kana, neighed quietly at me. He still had his saddle on from this morning. I started to undo the latches before I heard manic barking from my dogs.

"Lafayette! King! Quiet down!" I shouted from underneath Byron.

"I'm sorry, I don't think your dogs like me too much." I heard a voice. I stood up surprised and saw a young man sitting on my fence, trying to protect his feet from my dogs.

"Shit!" I said under my breath, "Shoo!" I ushered my dogs away from the stranger and he put his feet back on the ground, "I'm so sorry about that! They're not really good with strangers."

"Well I'm not that much of a stranger now, am I Lillian?" The young man said with a smile.

I looked at him in surprise. He did look slightly familiar, "I'm sorry do I know you?"

"Wow you forgot me already? It's Dirk! From Zephyr Town! I guess it's been six years but still! I can't believe you forgot the guy who saved your life!" I felt my stomach clench. Dirk? He didn't even look the same. He had grown several inches and towered over me now. His hair was longer as well. He wasn't dressed in the mountainous outfits that everyone wore in Zephyr. But when I looked into his eyes, I knew it was he. The same light green eyes with hints of hazel flakes inside. It was him.

"Dirk? Oh Goddess hi! You grew a lot since I last saw you! I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you!"

"Yeah I had a late growth spurt a few years ago. I mean really late, the doctor was so shocked when I told him I was 19!"

"What are you doing in Konohana?"

"I'm the new mail carrier! Ina and Rutger send out ads all over the place and I heard about it back in Zephyr. I applied for both and got offers right away! Ina told me there was a vacant house here so I bought it! I just arrived today! I was just introducing myself to all the villagers and the guy who owns the pet shop, Kana I think his name is, told me that there was a farmer named Lillian who lived here. I wondered if it was you, and surprise! It was! It's funny, that Kana guy had a really big smile on his face when he told me, same with his girlfriend Georgia."

Great…now I was going have to deal with them, "You don't say! Why did you leave Zephyr Town?"

"Long story! I'll have to tell you another night! Let's do dinner on Sunday and then we can catch up fully! I want to hear about how you got the farm and everything! But I better go; I have to see the blacksmith guy still! Goodnight Lillian!" he waved at me before he disappeared into town.

"Bye Dirk…" I said quietly. I took off Byron's saddle and quickly went into my house. What's happening right now? How is he here? I don't know if this is a dream or a nightmare. I changed into my pyjamas and pulled out a small wooden chest from beneath my bed. It was the last remnants of my past life, before I moved here. I opened it slowly and sitting on top of all the photos was an eagle feather.


	2. there are no secrets in small towns

AN: Hello all! Thanks for the wonderful comments. Yes it is a fic about Dirk. I played ToTT a second time and fell in love with him. It's practically impossible to marry him though so i thought i would write about him instead! This is a longish chapter (i apologize in advance) but worth it i believe! Thanks again and enjoy!

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><p>I woke up to Lafayette sitting on my chest, licking my face. I groaned and tried to push him off but he would not budge.<p>

"Lafayette, no! No kisses!" I cried but he didn't listen to me. I picked him off my chest and sat up. Another day has arrived. The mental checklist in my head seemed longer than usual. I stretched my arms and quickly changed into my blue leggings and threw on orange apron. I slid the blue embroidered sweater overtop of my tank top and put on my steel-toed boots. I yawned loudly as I brushed my long brown hair. I looked more tired than usual. My blue eyes seemed a bit blood-shot but nothing that some caffeine would fix. I slid my large red headband into my hair and headed into my field. Luckily so far the summer heat hadn't dried my crops. I gave them all some well-needed water and fertilized my corn stalks. Lafayette and King ran out of the house at 7 to get Betsy and the chickens out into the yard. I wiped some sweat from my forehead. It was still early morning but it was so hot. I quickly milked Betsy and collected the eggs. Today I had to go to Bluebell, no matter how much I wanted to stay away. I had to go see Eileen about the tunnel. We had decided to try and restore it to its former glory but without Rutger or Ina knowing. We had made some progress but we had a long way to go. Having the tunnel operational would make my life much simpler since it took forever to get up and down the mountain.

I hitched the saddle on Byron and hopped on. He neighed happily and broke out into a running start. As much as I loved this horse, he was reckless. He probably should have been a racehorse rather than a farm horse. I pulled him to a slow trot when we reached the shipping bin. I put all my animal products in the bin and got back on Byron.

"Morning Lillian!" I heard Kana behind me. He was brushing Hayate, his prized stallion, "And good morning to you Byron." He stroked Byron's nose and he whinnied happily, "Shhh don't tell the other horses." Kana said softly as he snuck a horse treat out of his pocket and fed it to Byron.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Kana stop spoiling my horse. I'm starting to think he likes you more than me."

"Well that's not very difficult," he laughed, "So I'm dying to know, how was seeing Mr. the-one-who-got-away last night?" Kana leaned against his fence, his tongue practically wagging.

"Apparently I have a superpower where things I talk about appear to me out of nowhere. I'd really like a million dollars!" I looked up at the sky, "Honestly, it was sort of weird. He remembers who I am and when I fell out of that stupid tree…he wouldn't tell me why he left Zephyr Town though. I'm assuming we'll probably discuss it over dinner on Sunday."

"He invited you to dinner? Oh la la! It sounds like love is blooming already!" Kana beamed.

"I'm really starting to regret telling you that story now. Especially since Dirk mentioned that you and Georgia could not stop smiling when he introduced himself! I'm guessing you just had to mention that the farmer living next door was a young woman named Lillian who had been to his hometown before?"

"I had to tell him! This is fate! Also it was mostly Georgia. She practically screamed when he said his name was Dirk. You, my friend, now have Georgia desperate to get you two together. You know Georgia; she won't stop till she has what she wants. You should just marry him now and save us all the trouble!"

I breathed out loudly and covered my face, "You two are impossible!" Byron neighed softly and moved his head towards the mountain path, "Well looks like he wants to go for a run. I'll be back later, and then you and I are going to put down ground rules about interfering! Meanwhile, I'm going to have a nice lecture with your girlfriend."

"Sounds good, just don't mess up her face. I really like her face." He waved me off as I rolled my eyes one last time. Kana was like the annoying older brother I never had. He could tease me endlessly and he wasn't afraid of me at all. He's seen me cut down a pine tree all by myself and he still doesn't believe I can take care of myself. But it felt nice to have someone look out for me. I'm an only child and now an orphan. I have no family to call my own so it's nice to feel accepted here.

The mountain path was eerily quiet but I saw Reina sitting on the grass, studying her rocks as usual. We waved to each other but that's it. I wasn't very close with Reina; she was usually so absorbed in her work, more so than I was which is saying something. The only time I really spoke to her was when I was with Nori and Reina would stop by. Nori seemed to be the only one who could bring Reina out of her shell. I stroked Byron's mane and flicked the reins gently, "Go Byron, go!" With my approval finally given, Byron broke out into a fast run. My hair whipped around my face and my eyes stung but I didn't care. This is when I felt most alive. The wind in my face and the matching heartbeats between Byron and I was like drugs to me. I felt my adrenaline pumping through my veins as Byron stampeded up and down the mountain path. I had to slow Byron down to a slow walk when we reached Bluebell. I slid out of the saddle and guided him with the reins towards Grady's shop. When I rode into town, Grady let me keep Byron with his horses. Georgia usually fed him and gave him a ton of water so he was prepared for the sprint back to Konohana.

"Howdy Lillian!" Georgia waved me over, "Enjoy your night?" She gave me a sly smile.

"Well my dogs almost killed Dirk but other than that, it was dandy." I sighed, "last night wasn't a dream right? You guys didn't put like a drug in my tea or anything right? He's actually the new mailman here? The same Dirk from my childhood?"

"It's really him! You were probably only half as shocked as I was. I almost dragged him over to your place myself. I almost screamed at him to kiss you too. But I'm excited; you two are my new project! You two will be together or I will eat my own boot!"

"Well then tell me how that boot tastes then!" I handed her Byron's reins, "I have to go talk to Eileen and avoid Cam at all costs. I'll see you in a bit." Georgia laughed and guided Byron towards the pasture. I liked Bluebell. The people were friendly and it was always charming. It wasn't that different from Konohana but the emphasis on animals was obvious. They loved animals more that I did. But I really connected with the people here. When I moved, I had only 500g and no equipment and no experience working on a farm. But everyone taught me what I needed to know and Rutger gave me all the farming equipment for free. I owed these people a lot. I felt guilty moving to Konohana but everyone understood, even Rutger who looked like I had betrayed him. I walked to Eileen's combined house and studio and knocked on the door. I heard a grunt from inside and opened the door. Eileen was sitting at her kitchen table; a large coffee cup was sitting on a blueprint she was erasing at furiously. She had two pencils sticking out of her hair and her glasses on top of her head.

"Eileen?"

She looked up from her work in surprise, "Oh Lillian! Hi! Good! I was hoping you'd come to town soon. I know you're avoiding Bluebell after what happened with Cam. Come sit!" She motioned to the free chair beside her.

"How do you even know about Cam and I?" I had only told Georgia, Laney and Nori. Well I guess Kana knows now but still.

"News spreads fast here, especially in a sleepy town like this. The news of a breakup spreads like a wildfire. I heard it from Rose who had heard it from Jessica who overheard Laney and Georgia talking about it. You can't keep a secret here at all! I'm sorry to hear about it though; I thought you two were quite nice to each other. You really brought a smile to Cam's face."

"It just wasn't what we wanted, I guess. It was mutual." I told her.

She wagged her pencil at me, "That's not what I heard. But oh well. So I was looking at the tunnel the other day and I think I know where to continue. I got this amazing new hammer that should really obliterate those huge boulders blocking our path. I just need some lumber to create the support beams."

"I've got it already," I nodded, "I have a ton of lumber in my supply shed back here in Bluebell. Just tell me when and we can blast away those boulders."

Eileen shook her head; "Oh it's too dangerous for you! You may be an independent woman but I wouldn't feel right having you in that tunnel right now. As long as I can get the materials, I can do it myself. I don't want you to get hurt really. This isn't simple stuff."

I nodded, "Fair enough!" I relaxed in the chair, "I'm just happy if that tunnel is almost done. That mountain is a monster to climb."

She went back to her blueprint and scribbled something on the corner "Tell me about it! It's my exercise for the day but still. I feel horrible for you and that new man, Dirk. You both take the path everyday and it just takes up so much time."

"Dirk?" My heart rate sped up even at the mention of his name.

"Yes, the new mail carrier. His name is Dirk." Eileen said absentminded, "He came by this morning to introduce himself. Since he was the only applicant to Rutger and Ina's ads he got both jobs. So he'll be delivering mail everyday to Bluebell and Konohana. It'll be a tough job but he doesn't look like the type to complain. He's got quite the infectious smile. Did you meet him?"

"Yeah, we go way back." I mumbled. So he's delivering mail to both towns. That's ambitious even for him. Why would he want to be that busy? He would be spending most of the day walking up and down the mountain.

"Really? Childhood friend?" Eileen looked at me.

"Something like that." I gave her a smile. She nodded and went back to work; "I'm going to go to Howard's now. Let me know if you need my help soon." I told her. She mumbled something incoherently to me but did not move her eyes away from her blueprint. I loved Eileen but once she got her attention on a project, she would not pull herself away from it until it was over. I walked over to Howard's but I continued to think of Dirk. The Dirk I remembered worked hard but lounge around as well. Why was he planning on working so hard here? My thoughts wandered over to why he had left. Why wasn't he married to that farmer? Maybe she was dead…or married to someone else. Maybe they needed the money so that's why he took both jobs. They're probably in some type of long-distance relationship. I sighed in frustration. Even if he wasn't with her, I was nothing like that farmer. She was beautiful and driven. She brought that bazaar back to life while I'm a Plain Jane who can't even revive my farm. I need to move on. He was just a childhood crush. I'm older and smarter now. I can get over him…I think.


	3. silence can be golden

AN: Hi everyone, sorry for all the updates but in a moment of haziness i submitted this earlier when i hadn't finished the chapter! But voila it's done! So here we go! Also side note, the song Georgia wants Lillian to sing is actually a real song by Neil Young called 'Harvest Moon' it's one of my favourite songs and i thought it was amusing it related to this! Take a listen if you want! Thanks for the comments!

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><p>I held my flashlight tightly as I walked up the mountain path Saturday night. It was our twice-monthly secret bonfire on the mountaintop. I knew everyone was already there waiting for me but time had gotten away from me today. I had yet to see Dirk since our chance encounter on Thursday night and my thoughts always drifted to him. How was he adapting to his job? Was he tired all the time? Would he regret moving here? It was nine at night yet it felt like midnight. I yawned loudly as I walked up the mountain. I don't know why I kept going to these things, I was always so tired the next morning and I don't get rest days as a farmer. But it was nice to see my friends interacting and enjoying each other's company. We always had a better time at the bonfires than the cooking festivals that Rutger and Ina insist on having. Those festivals had nothing to do with cooking, it just the mayors trying to show off. If anything, the cooking festivals only made things worse between our two towns.<p>

I heard laughter as I approached the meadow. Everyone was sitting around the fire talking. Kana was holding his acoustic guitar as Georgia leaned on his shoulder. Everyone was holding mugs of what I knew was cider spiked with rum.

"Lillian!" Laney called out to me and waved me over. She handed me a mug of the cider as I sat down next to her. She was talking with Ash about the new shipment of animals that Ash's mum had ordered.

"Hi Lil!" Ash finally said. He gave me a quick hug before leave Laney and I.

"He can't even be around me…." I sighed.

"Well you did break up with his best friend. It doesn't matter if you two are friends, he's going to stick with Cam." Laney took a sip of her cider, "You should just be lucky Cam decided not to come tonight."

"I'll have to talk to him again sooner or later." I shrugged, "he can't hide from me forever."

"Tell me about it. But speaking of hiding, have you seen that new mailman? He's cute don't you think." She winked at me.

I glared at her, "Georgia told you, didn't she?"

"Of course! She ran over Thursday but I was hoping you would have told me yourself."

"I would have eventually but I'm still trying to process that he lives next to me now. Besides, I've been too busy. I haven't even seen him since that night." I took a long drink of my cider, the rum burning as it went down my throat but calming me at the same time.

"Oh well…. I invited him tonight so you'll see him soon." Laney said nonchalantly. I spit my cider out onto the grass.

"YOU WHAT?" I shouted loudly. The talking around us stopped and everyone looked at us. I looked down awkwardly as Laney just laughed uneasily.

"There's nothing to see here people! Go back to your conversations!" Laney told everyone else before speaking to me, "Relax will you? This is a good thing. You two can talk! Speaking of which, here he comes." She cocked her head towards the entrance of the meadow where Dirk was walking in with a smile. I felt my stomach plummet inside me. I wish I were invisible.

"I need another drink. Preferably something with more rum than cider." I downed my drink and took Laney's from her hand.

"Jesus Lillian, you're just going to talk to him, not ask him to marry you." Laney scolded me and took her drink back. Dirk noticed me sitting with Laney and waved. I waved back and shot him a tiny smile. He came over and sat down next to me.

"Hey Lillian, hi Laney! How are you ladies tonight?" He asked us.

"I'm well, thanks for asking!" Laney smiled, "I'm going to get another drink but I'll be right back." She rose from the bench and walked over to Georgia and Kana. Traitor.

"And how are you Lillian? How's the farm?" Dirk moved his green eyes to me.

"It's tiring." I looked at my empty mug, "I can't believe I'm still awake honestly." I couldn't meet his eyes.

"Yeah I agree. I never thought it would be so tiring walking up and down the mountain but it's like a nice workout so I won't complain."

"You were never one to complain." I raised my eyes to his.

He laughed, "That's true! I'm glad I know someone in town, it was hard enough to move away from Zephyr but knowing that everyone not's a total stranger makes it… bearable." He took off his purple hat and ran his fingers through his brown hair.

"Why did you leave?" I asked him.

"Come on, that's conversation for dinner tomorrow night!"

I groaned, "Come on, you left me in suspense on Thursday. You can't do this to me again! I've been racking my brain thinking of reasons. From what I remember, you looked like you loved that town more than anything."

"I did." He admitted, "If you want to know now, I'll tell you. But I will warn you, it's not a happy story."

"You sound exactly like me." I smile.

Dirk returned the smile, "Well my brother Ivan, I don't know if you remember him. He was tall and you know distinguished looking and serious, he got married last fall. He married the love of his life and everyone was really happy about it. Well everyone except me."

"Why's that? You should have been the happiest!"

"I should have been but unfortunately I was in love with her too. You probably remember her too. Her name was Gretel, she was the farmer who revived our bazaar all by herself." So I was right, he had been in love with the blonde farmer, "I'm happy for them of course. I'm glad they found each other but for so long I was in love with her and I thought, I honestly thought that she would choose me. But she didn't. I knew I wasn't going to be able to live with them and keep my feelings hidden. So I looked for a way to leave Zephyr. I looked for two seasons and then one day a few weeks ago, Ina and Rutger's ads arrived in town. I pretty much jumped at the chance to leave. Ivan was confused and hurt; he didn't understand why I wanted to leave him. We had grown up together; he's the only family I've ever had. But I knew Gretel knew why I had to leave. I imagine she explained everything to Ivan. So I've come to Konohana because I have a broken heart and I had to leave the place I loved the most."

"Wow" I spoke softly, "I'm so sorry Dirk." I gently laid my hand on top of his, "I can't imagine what you've been through. But surprisingly, we all came to this town with some form of broken heart. You can talk to anyone in town and they'll have a story to share."

"What's yours?" He inquired. I pulled my hand back and held my mug tightly.

"You remember my parents, right?"

"Oh yeah, your dad had eggs sunny-side up everyday and your mom…." He paused, thinking "had omelette rice every morning!"

I teared up just thinking of them, "Yeah…well they both died recently."

"What? How?"

"Mum died a few seasons after our summer in Zephyr. Cancer. But she was a fighter and she said she wasn't in pain anymore. Dad didn't know how to cope. I had to practically drop out of school and help him run the bookstore. It really hurt to watch him and the store suffer but I think he had a hard time being there, knowing it had been my mum's life. He fell in such a deep depression; I didn't know if he was ever going to come out. I hid kitchen knifes in my room and I took his razor at night. But in the end, he didn't even take his own life like I had imagined. He had a heart attack at the store while I was at university. He was alone so he suffered before passing on. If I had been there, I could have saved him. I dropped out of university and I took over the store. But it was impossible to save it. My father had so much debt including my mum's hospital bills. I had to sell it to pay off everything. By the end, I only had 500g to my name and nowhere to go. That's when I heard about Bluebell and Konohana with two farms for sale. So I packed up the small amount of stuff I had and I moved here. When I first arrived here, I crashed my cart. Rutger and Ina found me and found out I was the one moving to the farm. They were just so grateful that someone was coming after all that they didn't even let me pay for it. They gave me both farms and I can move back and forth whenever I want. I owe everything to the people here."

"Wow." Dirk said quietly, "I can't believe that your parents are gone. My condolences."

"Thank you." I looked at him, he had a sad smile on his face but when I looked at him, I believed that everything would be all right, "But like I said Dirk, everyone is here for you. We'll all be your friends."

"I appreciate that Lillian. I'm glad we have this chance to be better friends."

"Me too, Dirk, me too." We didn't speak again but enjoyed the silence between us. It was not an awkward silence but a silence where we understood each other. He stared at me and I could see the hurt Gretel had caused him in his eyes and I knew he saw my painful past in mine. We understood each other, completely and irrevocably.

"Lillian!" Georgia called to me, pulling me out the moment I was sharing with Dirk, "You have to sing for us! Sing that Harvest Moon song you love, by that folk singer!"

"Your audience awaits you." Dirk stood up, "I'll let you go see your friends. I'm going to go talk with that guy Ash; I haven't introduced myself fully to him. But we'll talk again soon!" He gave me one last smile before going to sit with Ash and Hiro. I moved along the bench, sitting next to Georgia. She had a huge grin on her face.

"You two were very chatty, well until you both just stared at each other for like 5 minutes. What was that about?"

"I don't know… but I know he understands me." I looked across the fire and saw Dirk talking animatedly with the others. He must have noticed me staring because he looked up at me and smiled. I looked down, my cheeks blushing.

"So do you still have that feeling inside when it comes to him?" Georgia cocked her head.

I felt my heart flutter, "Yes I do. I don't think I'll every not have those feelings. We're the same, inside and out. Even if I'm not his, he's my soulmate."

Dirk's POV

She wasn't the same girl I remember from that summer. She used to be so shy and quiet. But I look at Lillian now and I see how she's blossomed here. I watch her with her friends and their laughter rings through the meadow. She has a huge smile on her face; I liked it when she smiled. She rarely smiled when she was in Zephyr, except for when I have her that feather. I had never seen someone light up so brightly. But she was more mature now; she had been through so much. I guess we both were more mature now. We've grown so much as people in six years. But when she smiles, I still feel that flicker inside me that frightens me. We'll stay friends. I can't go down that road again. But I know she understands. She understands me, I know she does. She starts to sing and the rest of us cheer. She's surprisingly good and I can't keep my eyes off her. Wow.


	4. never wear boxers to bed

AN: Hey everyone, sorry about the long wait. I've just finished my last term paper for the semester and Dragon Age: Inquisition recently came out so I've been pretty busy! Here is a short chapter for you all! I hope to update this weekend! Thanks!

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><p>I woke up to a loud noise outside and a startled cry. I sprang out of bed, grabbing my axe before running out the door. It was raining and then I suddenly remember I was wearing boxers and a tank top. The dogs were barking frantically and sniffing around.<br>"Hello?" I called out, "Who's there? If you're a robber, you chose the wrong home. I have no money and I am not afraid to protect myself." I clutched my axe.

"Lillian don't!" I heard a voice from behind a bush; "It's just me Dirk!" he stood up from behind the bush. His hat was missing and he had a bleeding cut on his cheek, "I was just looking at your crops then I tripped and landed in the bush!" He threw his hands in the air like I was going to shoot him.

I suddenly felt very self-conscious of what I was wearing. I put my axe down and approached him, "Jeez you scared me!" I gave him my hand and helped him out. He brushed the dirt off his purple jacket and gave me a smile, "I thought you were a thief! Well not that I have anything worth stealing. What are you doing here this early?"

He looked at me funny then at his watch, "Lillian…it's eight A.M. you must have slept in. I just came by to make sure you were stilling going to come over for dinner tonight! I've been looking forward to it for days now!"

"Right!" I forgot it was Sunday. My mind was still a bit foggy. I knew Dirk and I had talked but after a few more mugs of cider, everything became pretty hazy. I remember Kana pretty much throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me home since I had apparently forgotten how to walk.

"You must have had too much to drink last night." He teased me.

"Is it that obvious?" I sighed; I wasn't even sure how I got changed, "Dirk you're bleeding." I looked at his face. Blood oozed from the cut on his cheek.

Dirk touched his face absent-mindedly, "Oh I guess I am…"

"Come on, " I ushered him inside, "I have a first aid kit." The dogs barked happily as I pushed Dirk inside the house. I sat him down at the kitchen table as I went to the bathroom for the kit. When I came back out, Snowball was sitting in his lap while Athena was perched on his shoulder.

Dirk noticed me staring, "They just came over! I swear!"  
>"Look at you Mr. Popular. You've already won over the hearts of my animals. Well maybe except Lafayette." I looked at my small terrier in the corner. He just stared at Dirk and was poised to bark if needed. For a dog his size, I was amazed how protective he was. I pulled one of the chairs next to Dirk's and sat down. Athena hooted and hopped onto my shoulder. I grabbed Dirk's face and adjusted it so I could clean his cut.<p>

"Okay this is going to hurt, I'm going to apologize right now." I said before taking the hydrogen peroxide wipe to his face. He winced as I gently placed the wipe on his cheek.

"Come on Dirk. Don't look like a baby in front of the lady." He grinned. I wiped away the blood and dirt from his face.

"You're not the one wearing boxers right now so you're doing much better than me." I shot back at him. Dirk grinned back at me.

"I can honestly say I'm shocked that you were sleeping when I stopped by. I thought you were the type to be up at the crack of dawn."

"Not by choice. Usually the dogs are up and want to be fed right away. Besides the more I get done in the morning, the less I have to do when I could by napping or fishing. I try to take my afternoons off. So I visit people in both villages or I forage around in the mountain. I usually just ride Byron till we're both exhausted but sometimes I have dinner with friends." I looked into his green eyes. Dirk looked back at me and our eyes connected for a second before I looked away. I took a large nude coloured bandage from my first aid kit and slid it onto Dirk's cheek.

"There." I said finished, "I wouldn't tell people that you hurt yourself because you tripped. You'll lose a lot of street cred. Say you got into a fight with a bear or something!" I went to my kitchen sink and washed my hands, "Or boar, boar would be much more believable."

"Can't I say I got into a fight with you?" Dirk laughed, "You were so feisty last night, you told Kana you could take him in a fistfight and when he did challenge you, you fell backwards over the log."

Well that was not my finest moment, "yeah…" I ran my hand through my hair, "We always end up having a bit too much fun at those bonfires. I'm amazed Rutger or Ina haven't found them out yet. It's like blasphemy to be around the Bluebell folks." I smiled at him, "I should probably get ready. What are you plans today?"

"Nothing at all. It's my day off and I'm not sure what to do." Dirk frowned slightly, "I actually was wondering if you want help on the farm! I could milk your cow or water your crops or something!"

My cheeks blushed slightly and I turned away from Dirk in shame, "Sure, since I slept in, I could use some help making sure everything is done for tonight. I'll go meet you outside." I went into my bathroom and locked the door behind me. I heard my front door close and I slid down to the floor. Why was he doing this to me? He didn't mean to, I know. But all these acts of kindness did nothing to lower my feelings for him. If anything they only continued to grow. I can't stand by and watch my heart break over him. He will be my friend and nothing more. I will help him overcome his heartbreak and in return, I will overcome mine.

I emerged from the bathroom, fully changed and my chair pulled back with a bandana. I walked outside and saw King playing with Dirk. I walked over and handed Dirk the watering can, "I really appreciate this Dirk, thank you."

"It's my pleasure Lillian. Truthfully there is no place I would rather be or no one I would rather be with."


	5. stormy days always mean trouble

AN: Hello everyone! Thanks for the reviews and views! Next chapter is up and running! Have fun!

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><p>The loud sounds of thunder shot me out of my slumber. I woke up with a gasp, launching myself up and almost knocking Snowball off the bed. The wind howled as it attacked my home. I peered out my window and saw the dark grey storm clouds that loomed over me. Summer was the time for storms but even this was excessive. The rain hit hard against my window. At least I won't have to water the crops today. I rested my head on my pillow and tried to close my eyes again. I was so tired. Ever since Sunday, I stay awake longer just so I could talk to Dirk when he got back from delivering mail in Bluebell. He usually didn't come home till 8 o'clock or later but I would still wait. Then we would stay up and talk for a few hours. But it always meant that I had fewer hours to sleep. Storm days were good; I didn't leave my house except just to feed Betsy and Dali. It's like the Harvest Goddess is being good to me today. I can just spend today sleeping. I pulled myself out of bed and threw on my sweater and raincoat. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and headed to the barn. The rain was big and fat and instantly soaked me to the bone. The thunder continued to boom and the wind whipped around. I shielded my face from the rain until I found refuge in the barn. Betsy was hiding in the corner, with each crack on thunder, she mooed scared. I approached her carefully and soothed my cow. She seemed calmer with my touch. I put some fodder in her trough and then fed the chickens. Byron approached me and touched his nose to my shoulder. He wanted to go for a ride. When will he ever give up?<p>

"Not today boy. It's too dangerous." I stroked his nose. He whinnied lowly before walking off. What a drama queen. I walked back outside just in time to hear a massive crack of thunder. Lightening struck not far away from me. I jumped back. That was close.

"Lillian!" Kana yelled to me from the entrance of my farm, "Thank god you're okay!" I ran over to him. His wet hair clung to his face and his sweater was soaked all the way through. He wasn't wearing his signature smile but a look that scared me. He was worried. Kana was never worried about anything. What was going on?

"What do you mean? What's going on?" I looked to him with a worried look.

"This storm is the worst we've had in years. The wind has knocked over trees and the lightening isn't helping. Sheng is having a fit over this. He doesn't think the houses will be able to cope with this. It's like a fucking hurricane. Ina wanted me to make sure you were here. She doesn't want anyone leaving the village. Ina said the river's flooded in the mountain area. It's a mess. If it's bad here, it's probably worse on the mountain."

"Is everyone okay?" I shouted over the wind.

"Yeah everyone is accounted for so far! I haven't gone to Dirk's yet."

"I'll come with you!"

"Making sure you're boyfriend is okay?" Kana winked at me.

"Kana, seriously, this is not the time." I shot him a look. He only smiled and led me to Dirk's house. Kana pounded on the door.

"Dirk? It's Kana? Are you there?" He hit his fist onto the door but there was no answer.

"Where is he?" I asked panicked, "He wouldn't have been stupid enough to try and deliver mail today would he?" I looked towards the mountain pass. The wind howled louder and I pulled my raincoat closer around me. Why would he do that? Why would he leave? Why is he risking his life just for this job?

"He probably did. Damnit. It's not safe for anyone to be up there right now. Who knows where he could be." Kana gritted his teeth against the whipping wind.

"He's heading to Bluebell!" I shouted, "I'll go get him back."

"No Lillian!" Kana grabbed my arm, "I can't let you go up that mountain by yourself. It's not safe!"

"We can't leave him there! Besides, I know those mountain trails like the back of my hand. I'll take Byron and when I find Dirk I'll come right back. I can't sit and do nothing when I know Dirk is out there. If the river is flooded like you said, then he could die." I pleaded with him, "I have to go please." Kana reluctantly let go of my arm.

"Fine. But if you don't come back in an hour, I'm coming after you."

"Watch Dirk's house." I ordered, "If he comes back and I'm still out there, send Athena to me. She'll find me even with all this weather." I ran quickly back to my farm and threw Byron's saddle on him. He was so happy he held his bridle in his mouth, waiting for me to put it on him. I broke Byron out in a fast run. The rain came faster and hit me in the face but I didn't care. Dirk was out there and I needed to find him.

The river area was a mess when I rode into it. The river had swelled and the whole lower section of the land, which I had foraged for flowers regularly, was under water. Branches from trees and rocks were strewn all over the ground. Thunder clapped above me and I saw the flashes of lightning ahead of me. But I kept going. I had to keep going. Byron galloped fast up the hill towards the mountain area. We almost reached the meadow before I heard a large crack and a tree break free in front of us. Byron reeled onto his hind legs in fear and I held onto him tightly. The tree completely blocked our path. I would have to get around it myself. I slid out of the saddle and my feet hit the soaked ground with a splash. I calmed Byron and kissed his nose. I couldn't tie him to the fence surrounding the Cliffside. He would be trapped if something happened. At least he can run away if he's in trouble. I climbed over the fallen tree and slid into the mud.

"Dirk!" I yelled loudly, "Dirk! Answer me!" The rain fell harder and the wind continued to blow. I began to shiver. I was so cold. But I had to keep going. I searched the meadow but there was no sign of him. I continued to yell his name but I doubted he could hear me over the wind and thunder. I started running down the mountain, towards Bluebell. It was even worse. Trees were toppled over and the grass was under centimeters of water. I saw a familiar hat walking through the grass, his messenger bag bouncing against his hip. He was alive.

"Dirk!" I shouted. Dirk turned around in surprise. He was okay. I launched myself into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"Lillian? What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? What the hell are you doing here? It's not safe to be on the mountain right now!" I shouted.

"I have a job to do, rain or shine." He motioned to his bag.

"Your job doesn't require you to risk your life during a typhoon!" I countered, "I was really worried about you! I thought you were hurt you idiot!"

"You were worried about me?" He asked with a strange look on his face. Was it surprise?

Oops, "Of course I was. You're my friend Dirk," Saved it. "We all were." I added, "Kana was having a fit when you didn't open your door! You can't do this on storm days like this. It's too dangerous to be out here. I almost risked my neck coming to find you. Goddess, what if you were killed!"

Dirk shrugged, "Then I died doing my job. That's what I'm here for."

I punched Dirk in the arm, "You moron! Why are you so okay with risking your life? People here care about you, especially me. You're my friend and the last thing I want is for you to die!" I cried, "How can you think so lowly of yourself that you think it's alright that you could die on the job! This isn't about you anymore. This village is a family and we look out for each other." I shouted at him, "Now come on, I'm taking you back to the village.

"I'm sorry Lillian." He pulled me into a hug, "I shouldn't have worried you like that. I was just trying to do my job. I guess I didn't realize my safety is more important."

"Of course it is. No one wants you risk your life. I'm sure everyone would understand why their mail was one day late during a storm like this."

Dirk smiled, "Thank you. Come on; let's go back then. You're shaking. There's a large cup of hot chocolate waiting for us." I noticed my hands were shaking. But it wasn't from the cold like I had thought. It was from fear, from anger, and more so relief. We walked back to Byron who did not seemed bothered by the rain at all. Dirk held out his hand to me as we climbed over the tree truck and I grabbed it with a smile. I was still mad at him but I think I understand why he did it. He likes being useful and spending a day cooped up in a house isn't being helpful at all. I helped Dirk get into the saddle and I sat in front of him, grabbing Byron's reins.

"Hold on tight." I told him, "Byron doesn't know the meaning of slow or safe. Yip!" I flicked the reins and Byron broke out into a fast run towards Konohana. Dirk yelped loudly and wrapped his arms around my waist. I ignored the feeling of the butterflies in my stomach and focused on the road in front of us. But I couldn't shake Dirk's words from my head. He was so willing to risk his life, just to get a job done. Why would anyone do that? What was going on in his head? Did he not care about anything anymore?

Dirk's POV

The rain pelted harder against my face as Byron raced towards town. I had never been on a horse before and Lillian's was a speed demon. I wrapped my arms around her waist in fear. This horse was a maniac. But then again, I guess I was too. I couldn't tell Lillian the truth. When I work, I have a purpose and I don't think of Gretel. I don't think of the things I left behind and I don't think of Ivan and how he looked when I told him I was leaving. But I knew I couldn't go onto the mountain today, I knew it was dangerous. I saw the lightening and I heard the thunder but then it meant being trapped within my memories for a full day. So I went.

I wish I hadn't now. When Lillian found me, I thought she was going to cry. She looked relieved but also furious. I let her yell and shout at me because she was right. I shouldn't have been up there. But when she first ran into my arms when she found me, I felt a sense that she was happy to see me but then it turned to worry and anger. I didn't think anyone would care if I had gone to work today. But I was wrong. I was always wrong when it came to her. I thought I knew Lillian but she continues to surprise me everyday. She cares for me…could I care for her in return?


	6. are we all lost stars?

An: Hi everyone! Sorry for not updating soon but school has gotten so hectic! So here is the next instalment! Enjoy!

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><p>The days turned into weeks and eventually summer ended. But this time it wasn't like my summer in Zephyr, my friendship with Dirk persevered into the fall. Dirk worked harder during the last weeks of the summer, I barely saw him. I never believed he was avoiding me after the storm. If anything, we became closer because of it. But he also became closer with our fellow villagers. I saw him speaking with each of them as he dropped over their mail. I even saw him having tea with Yun, an honour I had yet achieved. He came to realize that he could make a life here; just like the one he had in Zephyr. He didn't need to be an outsider.<p>

My birthday was in the fall, fall 23, and I knew that Georgia and Kana were planning something for me. They could barely keep their excited whispers hidden from my ears. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I wasn't even planning on celebrating my birthday this year. My birthday also fell in the same week as the first anniversary of my father's death. It's hard to celebrate something when you're reminded of one of the worst events I had ever experienced.

I had never told anyone that my father's death was only two days before my 21st birthday. Other than Dirk, no one even knew my father had died. I had made a pledge to not live in the past when I moved here and that is what I have done. But today of all days, I would remember my parents. I finished all my work on the farm by noon. The animals were out and enjoying the crisp fall breeze and the last remnants of a warm sun. It was only fall 21, but I could feel the chill of winter looming over us. Byron moved towards me, hoping I would take him for a run. I considered it but walking to Bluebell would give me time to think.

The leaves on the mountain were the colour of crimson and pumpkin orange. They fell gracefully onto the dirt path. It was strange to imagine that a month ago, this path looked like a tornado had passed thru. It took us a whole week to clear the path to Bluebell. Kana, Sheng, Eileen, and I spent most of our days chopping up the fallen trees. I had enough lumber sitting in my supply shed to last a lifetime. Our houses took the worst of the wind. Shingles had flown off Dr. Ayame's clinic and Mako had a few trees uprooted. Bluebell hadn't fared much better. They had gotten hail and the ice battered the town hall. It was a bad day for everyone. But we all pulled together and fixed what needed to be fix. Eileen also extended the tunnel with all the supplies we found after the storm. She said it would only take a few more months till the tunnel would be complete, and then Dirk and I would be able to make it to Bluebell much faster.

Bluebell was surprisingly lively when I walked into the main square. Rose was sitting on the bench outside of town hall with Rutger. Laney and Georgia were eating lunch together as always. They waved to me and I waved back. I would go speak to them, but I was in Bluebell for one reason only. As much as I had been avoiding it, I had to speak to Cam. I needed a bouquet for my father and mother. His back was turned from the table when I approached his stall. I heard Laney and Georgia ask what I was doing but I ignored their voices.

"Hi Cam." I spoke, Cam jumped in surprise and turned around.

"Lillian! Hi." He sounded surprised to hear my voice, to be fair we hadn't spoken in a month or so. We avoided each other and there were stolen glances but no words passed between our lips.

"Can you make me a bouquet please?" I asked him. I played with the ends of my hair self-consciously. He looked good, well he always look good. His light brown hair fell in front of his eyes and his tie hung loosely around his neck. He wore his signature smirk on his face.

"Sure." He nodded, "What kind of flowers do you want in it?"

I bit my lip and thought, "white roses, snowdrops, and…. blue roses." My parents and mine favourite flowers all in white, white is the true colour of death. They would love them.

"Sure, just give me 15 minutes. It might be more expensive since snowdrops and blue roses are limited right now since it's still the fall. Is that okay?"

"That's perfectly fine!" I assured him with a smile. He turned back around and I took the note to go see Georgia and Laney. Their faces said it all when I walked over.

"Talking to Cam now?" Laney inquired.

"I need a bouquet. It's purely civil." I waved off her questioning gaze.

"What do you need a bouquet for?" Georgia took a bit of her burger, "Are you confessing your love to Dirk with flowers?"

I sighed loudly, "Both of you are ridiculous. The flowers are for something else. Also how many times do I need to tell you Georgia, Dirk and I are strictly platonic. Besides he's still hung up on the Gretel girl. The way he talks about her, you would think she was the sun or something." I couldn't deny that whenever he brought her up I didn't feel jealous. I was. She seemed perfect. I was making more money but it still wasn't enough.

"Well girl then you need to get in there and make him realize that you are the one for him!" Laney took a sip of her tea.

"Laney you can't even take your own advice." I shot back, "How about you go tell Ash how you really feel about him!" I slid into the seat beside them and put my face in my hands, "This is torture you guys. I planned on being friends with him in order for me to get over him but I can't. I see him and my heart sings. It's even worse because the way I feel about him is the way he feel about Gretel. He'll never see me as anything more."

Laney placed her hand on my shoulder and rubbed it, "I know. I'm sorry we keep teasing you. I thought it would make you laugh honestly. We should have realized that this was upsetting you. I can't imagine that it would be easy. Well how about you and I grow old together with a dozen cats and yelling at rascals to get off our lawn." She smiled brightly for me.

"Y'all better make room for me. As much as I love Kana, I would rather threaten stupid kids with you two. Sorry about what I said Lillian."

"That sounds amazing you guys. Don't be sorry, you are both just trying to make me feel better and I couldn't ask for better friends." Laney pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged her back, feeling all the tension in my chest disappear. I needed this today. They might not understand why but I needed them.

"Lillian!" Cam called from his stall, "It's all ready for you!"

"I better go, I'll see you guys tomorrow." I hugged Laney and Georgia both tightly before walking back to Cam's shop.

"Is everything okay?" Cam raised an eyebrow at me.

"It is now." I ran my hands through my hair, "So how much do I owe you?"

"300g. It's just going to be 100g more because of the snowdrop and blue roses. You always loved blue roses." Cam stared into my eyes deeply and I looked down at the bouquet. It was beautiful. I had to fight the urge to cry. This is perfect.

"This is perfect Cam," I said, pretending I didn't hear his last comment, "This means a lot to me, thank you." I pulled his money out of my rucksack.

"It probably means a lot to him too." I heard Cam mutter under his breath.

"What did you say?" I looked at him.

Cam looked irritated, "I said it probably means a lot to him too. You got me to make a bouquet for Dirk didn't you?"

Where did that come from? "What? No of course not!"

"You asked for a bouquet with your favourite and his favourite flowers. Why are you lying to me?" He hissed.

"I am not lying to you. This isn't for him. Why would I give him flowers, we're just friends." I defended myself.

"Just like how you and I were just friends once? Come on Lillian, I see the way you look at him or how you talk to him. Everyone does. It's the way I look at you. It's the way you used to look at me. If you're dating him, just tell me so I can move on with my life. Goddess why am I in love with a woman who treats me like I'm nothing. You never loved me and that kills me inside." He spat.

I slammed the money on the table, "You know what Cam. Just stop!" I shouted. You are such a kind and good person but jealousy looks horrible on you. I am not dating Dirk. These flowers are not for Dirk. They're for my dead mother and father. Today is the anniversary of my father's death."

The anger on Cam's face quickly disappeared and turned into shame, "Oh godd-"

"Save it!" I interrupted him, "I will always care for you. You were my friend once and I hope we can be that again but not now. Thank you for the bouquet and for the pleasant chat. I have to go, I have a grave to visit." I picked up the bouquet and quickly fled Bluebell. I heard shouts from behind me, presumably Laney and Georgia verbally attacking Cam. I ran up the mountain, my eyes foggy with tears. I never cried. I was always the strong one but I felt my barriers shatter before me. Was I horrible to Cam? Should I have loved him more? I reached the Cliffside and I fell to my knees, the beautiful bouquet forgotten already. I began to sob loudly. I wrapped my arms around my waist. Why was this happening to me?

Dirk's POV

I whistled loudly as I walked up the mountain from Bluebell. The sun had set early and the crickets were singing the last of their summer tunes. I was actually finished work early for once. There weren't a lot of deliveries today. But there was a weird tension in Bluebell today. Cam kept giving me the stinkeye while Laney would sometimes berate him over something he had said earlier. But I continued work as usual and wore my smile, even if Cam didn't want to see it.

It was completely dark when I reached the summit but the moon was bright, giving me some desired light on the trail. I noticed a strange figure sitting silently on the wooden platform that faced the cliff. The closer I got, I realized it was Lillian. She sat silently, clutching a bottle and a bouquet to her chest. Her face was tear-streaked and red. She was murmuring quietly to herself.

"Lillian?" I knelt down next to her. She turned her head towards my voice but almost didn't seem to recognize I was there.

"Dirk?" She said finally, "Is that really you or am I just imagining you?"

"No, it's really me." I sat down next to her.

"Oh good, I was worried that the wine had gotten to my head." She laughed a bit too loudly.

"What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

"No." She shook her head, "I'm not okay. I don't know if I will be okay." Her words slurred together, "I'm a failure Dirk. I'm a failure at being a farmer and at being a friend. Why do I even bother?"

I looked at her in surprise, "What are you talking about? You're not a failure! You have accomplished so much since moving here! You're a inspiration to everyone."

"Then why I can't I get my crops to grow properly? Why can't I make money like Gretel can? Everything I touch turns to shit. Why can't I get Cam to forgive me? I'm not a horrible person am I?" She looked at me, a few tears rolling down her face.

"You are not a horrible person. Cam is just Cam, he's in a mood. Come here." I pulled her into a hug. I felt shaken; I had never seen Lillian cry before. She didn't cry when she fell out of that tree or when she got stitched up. She stayed strong. She may falter now but I knew she was still strong inside.

"I just wanted today to be easy. I wanted to remember my dad and my mum but instead I'm drunk and sobbing on the side of a cliff." She cried into my shoulder, "How pathetic is that?"

"It's not pathetic. Just breathe Lillian. It'll all be okay in the end. Don't listen to Cam. He's an idiot. He doesn't know anything. Look at me." She raised her head off my shoulder and looked me in the eyes, "You are strong and you are amazing. Do not forget that. You are one of the most amazing people I've ever had the chance to meet. Okay?" I wiped the remains of her tears with my thumb. She nodded slightly and put down the items in her lap. She raised her hands to touch mine slightly then suddenly grabbed my face in her own hands and kissed me. Her lips tasted of wine and apples. I felt shock register in my body but there was something else. Happiness? I closed my eyes and only thought of her lips on mine. My hand moved from her face to her neck, holding her in place. Lillian pulled away from me and leaned her head against my shoulder.

"I want to go home." She whispered.

"Sure." I helped her onto her feet. She placed the bouquet on the ground with the empty wine bottle. She let me lead her back down the mountain towards Konohana. She clung to my jacket as I supported her with my arm. We didn't speak as we walked down the mountain. Konohana was deathly quiet when we walked through the streets. I led her to the farmhouse. I opened the door for Lillian and she walked inside. She fell to the floor, trying to pull off her boots. Her dogs approached her happily and licked her face. Snowbell the cat didn't move from her spot on the bed. I lifted Lillian when she had taken off her shoes and carried her to her bed. I laid her down gently and pulled the blanket on her. She fell asleep quickly. I left her side with a smile and shut off the lights in the house. I walked back to my house slowly, trying to understand what had happened tonight. Why didn't Lillian tell me what was going on sooner? We were friends, good friends, but she could only tell me what was bothering her when she was drunk. She tried too hard to be strong. She had built up these walls and it was impossible to tear them down. But I will find a way. I touched my lips; I could still feel the tingle of her lips on mine. Was that just a drunken kiss or was it more? As much as I didn't want to admit it, I wanted it to be the latter. I could feel my cheeks get hot when I thought of Lillian and her smile. I came here to get over a broken heart, but I never imagined that I would have it repaired by another farmer. What are the odds?


	7. dreams can be memories too, right?

AN: hey everyone, i'm gonna apologize right now for the subpar chapter today. i'm having the worst writer's block right now and I'm just trying to push through it. I have a really great chapter coming but it's about two chapters away so you'll just have to bear with me till then! Sorry everyone! But thanks for all the support!

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><p><em>Hands reaching for skin. Hair brushing against cheeks. Tears. Flowers. Lips touching lips. A tongue exploring. A scream, my scream.<em> I shot up in my bed with a gasp. I was home. How did I get home? I was under my blanket but I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday. My stomach churned and I felt sick inside. But that's the price you pay when you drink a bottle of wine by yourself. How did I get home? I couldn't explain it. But my mind was flashing with my dreams. I groaned and curled into my blanket. The thought of work made my stomach lurch. But I forced myself out of bed and into the shower.

"You look like crap." Kana looked me over as I slowly hobbled into town. He was brushing Hayate when I walked past his shop. He was right though. I did look like crap and I felt like it too. I had thrown my hair into a very messy bun and I tried to ignore the fact that still smelt like a winery even after a very long shower. My head was pounding and my eyes were bloodshot. I shot him a glare and he shrugged it off with a smile, "What happened to you last night?"

I rubbed my sore eyes and leaned against Kana's fence, "I got into a fight with Cam yesterday. Then I decided to get drunk on the cliffside. It was not a good night." I rubbed my temples, trying to get rid of my headache.

"How did you get home?"

"Uh…I don't know. I woke up in my bed. I think I blacked out." I said embarrassed. I never blacked out. There was no possible way I got to town by myself but I had no idea who helped me home. The last thing I remembered was staring at the stars and crying.

Kana frowned slightly, "Are you okay Lillian? This doesn't sound like you at all."

"You don't need to worry about me Kana." I patted him on the arm, "I'm alright now. It was just a very bad night. Now I just have a wicked hangover."

"Alright, if you say so. I'm here Lillian. You know that. You don't have to hide anything from me." Kana hopped over his fence and headed towards his shop, "Oh Georgia is coming over this afternoon and she wants you to come to dinner! Don't worry, it's not a surprise party or anything." He smiled at me.

"Alright," I sighed, "As long as we don't drink anything other than tea, I will be there." I waved goodbye and walked into Konohana. I was too tired to go to Bluebell today or even climb the mountain. I thought I would hang around town and just relax. After yesterday, it couldn't hurt to stay away from Bluebell. I looked at the message board and saw a request from Dr. Ayame for some weeds. I took the request down from the board and slowly walked to the river area. Weeds were easy enough to find, I could fill the request then call it a day. I sat at the water's edge and breathed in deeply. I closed my eyes and felt an immense calm fall over me. I loved the smell of autumn. The air was crisp and the coolness kissed my bare skin.

"Lillian." I heard Dirk's voice behind me. I opened my eyes and saw Dirk standing beside me. He had a smile on his face as usual, "it's good to see you. How are you feeling?"

I shrugged, "I'm alright."

"Not too hung-over then?" He asked me. I looked at Dirk with a bewildered look, "Oh you don't remember do you? I found you last night and carried you home. You were pretty out of it, you drank a whole bottle of wine to yourself." I felt my cheeks heat up and my heart pound. Dirk found me last night? When I was at my worst? Drunk and who knows what else.

"Thank you for being there Dirk. Honestly it was just a horrible night. I'm just glad someone took care of me. I wasn't too horrible was i? I didn't do anything stupid right?"

He shook his head with a smile, "You did nothing out of the ordinary. Though I had to convince you to come home!"

I laughed uneasily, "That sounds like me. Thanks Dirk. I'm really glad it was you. At least you won't continue to remind me of it. If it Laney or Georgia they would probably never let me forget it!"

"I would never do such a thing! Anyways, I have to get back to work. I'm really happy you're feeling better Lillian! I'll see you later!" He walked up the mountain path and disappeared quickly. I closed my eyes and thought back to last night. I had to remember something else. I remember my sight spinning out of control and the smell of the bouquet in my hands. The grass was soft. The air was cold but it didn't bother me. I remember the aching of my throat when I cried. But I remember something else, soft skin with a hint of stubble. There were lips. Soft lips. A hint of affection. Hands grasping for faces or something to hold. My dreams weren't dreams. They were the memories from last night. My barriers had crumbled and I bore my heart. It became clear now. I had kissed Dirk and he had kissed me back. Why didn't he tell me?


	8. how a simple letter ruined my dreams

I watched the snowfall from my kitchen window. I had soft jazz music playing from my cd player while I put the kettle on the stove. Jazz music and tea always made winter nights cozier. I shivered slightly and tightened the wool shawl around my shoulders. It was my first winter in Konohana and it was definitely colder than I thought it would have been. Amazingly I was still able to grow some crops even in the cold. As much as I had enjoyed the snow during the first week of winter, I was growing sick of it.

King started to bark loudly at the door. Lafayette joined in with him as they sniffed beneath the front door. Then there was a knock at the door. I grabbed the St. Bernard and pulled him away from the door. I picked up Lafayette, which he always hated, and opened the front door. Dirk stood on my front step. His face was red from the cold and his jacket was dusted with snow.

"Hi Dirk." I smiled at him, "Come on in."

"Thank goodness! It's so cold out there. I swear I think my hands are frozen!" He blew on his hands and rubbed them together.

"Well you should be wearing gloves then." I remarked. I put down Lafayette and grabbed Dirk's coat, "Besides it's not that cold out!"

"Oh yeah? Feel my hands." Before I could stop him, he placed his hands on my cheeks. I jerked my head back in response. He wasn't kidding, they were frozen.

"Okay! You win!" I swatted his cold hands away, "Just don't touch me again!"

"Oh no, now that I know your weakness I'm never going to stop touching you!" My eyes widened at his words. What? Dirk paused for a minute and then blushed furiously, "That sounded so wrong! I'm so sorry! That's not what I meant!" Before I could reply, the kettle made its presence known to us.

"I'm making some tea, do you want some? It'll warm your hands up." I walked to my kitchen. I heard Dirk mutter something to himself and then him hit himself.

"I'd love some!" He finally said with his usual cheer. He sat down at the table. My pets swarmed to him as usual. They had become accustomed to his presence the last few months. Even Lafayette had warmed up to him, an accomplishment few have achieved. I grabbed two mugs and placed the black tea bags in the teapot. I poured the water in the teapot. I hummed to the song playing on my cd. Stars fell on Alabama. I loved that song. I sang it to myself usually. I brought the tea to the table and sat down next to Dirk.

"This is a really good song. It's funny, no one else I know likes jazz music like this." He noted.

"It's one of my favourites." I sighed, "It's always been a dream of mine to slow dance to a song like this." I took a sip of my tea.

"Hey! Don't look at me. I'm not a dancer at all!"

"I wouldn't dance with you even if you paid me." I shot back.

"Ouch my heart! I thought we had something special!"

"Not special enough evidently." I rolled my eyes. This playful banter had become regular for us. We could go all night teasing each other relentlessly. We spent the rest of the night talking to each other and enjoying the company we could offer. I always thought how far we had come as friends since the summer. He was the one I could depend on to cheer me up and make me feel like I belonged. We never spoke of when I kissed him, but I think he knew I remembered. But it was never brought up and it never interfered with our friendship. For that, I was glad.

The next morning, I walked past Kana's shop. The snow continued to fall but it didn't bother me. Kana was out brushing Hayate and Georgia was sitting on the fence. They were chatting happily as always. I walked over and sat next to Georgia.

"Hey Lillian!" Georgia smiled and hugged me. We didn't see as much of each other anymore. I only went to Bluebell for animal items or see Eileen and then I would usually leave quickly. The tension between Cam and I had not gotten any better, if anything it got worse. So I couldn't see Laney or Georgia as much as I used to. I hated what had happened but I knew I needed to give Cam space. It was the best I could do.

"Hey guys! Enjoying the weather?"

"The horses hate the cold." Kana sighed, "The sooner spring comes, the better."

"It's only one more week darlin'." Georgia rubbed his shoulder, "This isn't their first winter either. They know how to survive. They'll be fine!"

Kana nodded, "You're right. Only one more week. But that also means only one more week till New Years' Eve! Man that's such a fun night!"

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Well Ina throws a pretty big dinner at Town Hall! Everyone comes and we eat all night till the countdown! It's pretty fun actually! Yun brings her rice cakes and they're literally all gone within five minutes! It's going to be a bit different this year I guess though. Ina hasn't told me the details yet but I think she just wants to change it up." Kana put down the brush; "I'm going to put Hayate back in the barn. I think it's too cold today to keep the horses outside." He led Hayate back into the barn, leaving Georgia and I alone.

"Lillian," Georgia turned to me, "have you talked to Dirk today?"

"No. I've been working all morning. Why?"

"Kana told me not to tell you but I'm worried about him."

My heart raced, "Why are you worried about him? What's going on?"

"He came by today to give Kana his mail. He was looking through his stack of letters then he found one addressed to him. He seemed quite shocked. Kana told him to open it. He did and then his whole face went white. Kana asked him what's wrong but Dirk mumbled an excuse and left so quickly. I was hoping he went to talk to you or something. I've never seen him so scared. I'm worried. I hope it's nothing too bad."

"Hm I wondering the same thing. I'll talk to him tonight when he gets back from Bluebell. Hopefully everything is alright." I hopped off the fence and waved goodbye to my friends. I set off to finish my work on the tunnel but Dirk was in the back of my head. I collected all the material stone needed to finish the last instalment of the tunnel and quickly delivered it to Eileen. She was so excited and said she would be done in a few days. I walked back to Konohana in the dark. Dirk's house was still dark when I arrived so I went back to my farmhouse. I turned my cd player on and tried to drown out the thoughts. I was worried about him. What news could he have had? Around 7, I left my house again. He had to be home by now. I walked to his house and saw the lights on. I approached the front door and knocked loudly. Dirk opened the door without his usual smile. His hat was off as well as his jacket. He was only wearing his white shirt. He looked so tired.

"Hi." I gently smiled, "I heard you're not having the best day."

"Come in." I entered Dirk's house. It was warm and I could smell something amazing. I sat down at his table and watched him move around his kitchen. He wasn't focused on anything. Whatever was in that letter was bothering him.

"Do you want to tell me what was in the letter or do I have to guess?"

"How did you hear about it?" He said distantly.

"Georgia told me. She's worried about you. She said you turned white as a sheet. I'm worried too." I rose from the chair and approached Dirk. I gently touched his arm but he pulled away from me.

"It was from Gretel." He looked down at the floor, "She wants me to come home. She had a baby and she wants her daughter to know her uncle. She told me she knows why I left but my rightful place is in Zephyr Town with her and my brother."

"What are you going to do?" I tried to hide the dismay in my voice. Dirk couldn't leave. He just couldn't leave Konohana.

"I'm not sure… I miss Zephyr so much. I miss Ivan most of all. A-and I'm an uncle now. I have a niece. How can I not go home?"

"You left so you could be away from Gretel. She broke your heart remember?"

"Of course I do!" Dirk groaned, "But that's not the point. Zephyr Town is my home."

I crossed my arms, "So what? You're just going to quite your job and leave then? You're going to leave all your friends here just because the married girl you're in love with wants you to come home? You have a home here too Dirk."

"You don't understand Lillian, you've never been in love." Dirk argued with a defensive tone.

"I have been in love Dirk, so don't assume that I don't know what you're feeling!" I said bitterly, "I don't want you to go. You are my closest friend here and I want you to stay.

"It's not up to you Lillian! This is my choice." Dirk said exasperated.

"So you're going then? You've made up your mind?" I bit my lip.

"I don't know…but I think I am." He looked at me. I saw no remorse or guilt on his face.

"When?"

"I'll finish the month here. I'll probably go home New Years eve."

"You're not even going to stay for the party? Wow." I turned towards the door.

"Lil don't be like this."

"Like what Dirk?"

"You're acting like I'm a bad guy!"

"You're not taking anyone else's feelings in accord about this! Just because Gretel wants you to come home doesn't mean you need to leave. You have friends here. You have me!" I cried, "You go home and you'll be just as miserable as you were when you showed up here. She doesn't love you. She loves your brother."

"I know that."

"But you still love her?" I asked. I wanted him to say no. I wanted him to say he was finally over her.

Dirk didn't say anything for a while but I didn't look at him, "…I don't know." He finally said. That was all I needed to here. Dirk seemed to have made up his mind. He wasn't going to stay for me. He would always go to her.

"I'm going to go." I opened the front door, "Have fun in Zephyr, Dirk. Send Gretel my regards."

"Lillian…"

"You know, I remember kissing you." I interrupted him, "I kissed you that night on the cliff and you know what, you kissed me back Dirk even if you don't want to admit it. I know you didn't tell me and I understand but you should have at least thought of my feelings when you decided to pack up and leave Konohana. I have been in love Dirk. I've been in love with you this whole time." I shut the door behind me and ran back to the farmhouse. My eyes stung with tears but I wiped them away before they could fall. So that was it. It's over. I locked my front door and turned my music on. I stayed up for a while, dreaming that he would bang on my door and confess his love for me. But he never came. He was never going to choose me over her. New year's resolution: never fall in love again.


	9. stars fell on Konohana

AN: Hello everyone! Finally got to finish this chapter, which i've been excited about for a while! I hope you all love it. Thank you all for the support! Only a few more chapters till the epilogue!

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><p>"I feel like a china doll." I complained to Georgia as I shifted around in the dress.<p>

"Stop complaining." She shot a look at me, "You look amazing! You're going to knock 'em dead tonight! I wish Rutger would let us dress up for our dinner tonight. I always love getting all purty!" She sighed as she stuck on last bobby pin into my skull.

"She's right Lillian! You look amazing!" Kana said from the table. He was wearing a navy blue blazer with a white button up shirt underneath. For once, his hair was out of its ponytail and slicked back from his face. He looked quite good. Since Georgia was expected at the Bluebell dinner tonight, Kana and I were going as 'dates' to ours. He was playing with the dogs while his girlfriend tortured me with beauty products. I felt uncomfortable in my small heels and blue dress. My hair was piled on top of my head into an elegant braided bun and curled tendrils of my hair framed my face. Georgia had forced me down as she applied eyeliner and lipstick. I felt like a fool. But it was Ina's idea for the New Years Eve dinner and for us to dress formally. Ever since that musician Mikhail has come to Konohana, Ina has been trying to get the village more cultured. First it was the music festival and now it was a formal dinner with dancing. Mikhail would perform music with an accompanist while the rest of us danced and drank the year away.

"I still don't see why I have to wear this!" I groaned, "You could have at least let me wear pants." I looked down at the royal blue dress I was wearing. Georgia had brought it over when I asked her for help for tonight. She said it was Laney's. The dress itself was pretty on the hanger but I don't know how it looked on me. It went to my mid-thigh and had long sleeves, luckily. But it was somewhat formfitting which made me feel self-conscious about my body.

"This is the one night where people will forget that your work at a farm! You look so amazing, they'll think you're a model!" Georgia smiled brightly and dragged me to my bathroom mirror. I was taken aback in shock when I looked in the mirror. I looked like a typical girl. My skin was clear with just the hint of pink blush on my cheeks. My lips were a dark burgundy that complimented my darkened eyes. My brown hair looked elegant yet simple. The dress flattered my figure greatly and I liked how tall I look in the black heels. Georgia was right; I did look like a model.

"Wow." I muttered.

"Wait till they set their eyes on you! Now come on Cinderella, you only have two hours till midnight! Hey Kana, you guys better get going!" Georgia pulled me away from the mirror and towards the door where Kana was holding the door open, "You two have a party to attend and I have to make it back to Bluebell! Now scoot!" She kissed me on the cheek and Kana on his lips, "Have fun Lillian! Knock 'em dead! And Kana, don't drink too much please, the last thing you need is to wake up in the snow bank again." She winked at me before pushing me out of my house. Kana kissed Georgia once last time before joining me. The last day of winter lived up to its name by the intense snowfall. I wobbled slightly as I walked down the path to town hall. As much as I liked how I looked in heels, walking in them was impossible! I grabbed Kana's arm for support as we walked together.

"Blast these shoes." I grumbled to myself, "Stupid heels. Stupid night. Stupid girl. Stupid letter."

Kana raised his eyebrow at me, "Are you okay? I feel like there is a lot more going on here than the dinner."

I sighed loudly, "It's that stupid letter Georgia told me about. Dirk's going back to Zephyr and I can't stop him. I tried but he wouldn't budge. He wasn't even going to stay for the party tonight. He won't even get to see me look this ridiculous. Goddess, why did I have my hopes up? He was never going to love me."

"So you haven't talked to him since you guys fought huh?"

I shook my head, "Not a word. I haven't even seen him around town. It's probably for the best. I bet he's on the first train back right now. I even told him I loved him and he still didn't come after me. I waited up for hours, just hoping that he would bang on my door and realize he was wrong. But he didn't and he hasn't come by in a week. C'est la vie I guess."

"You know it's okay to be upset." Kana gently squeezed my arm, "You loved him. This would be the type of situation that people would cry."

I thought back to the night of the cliffside. It was the only time someone had seen me cry in years, "I'm upset, but I'm not going to cry about it."

Kana didn't look convinced, "Alright, if want to you know you can come to me. We're pals, Lillian. I only want the best for you."

I looked up at Kana's face, "Sorry I'm a poor second to Georgia. I know you want to be here with her tonight."

"Don't be sorry! I'm super pumped to be going with you. But you know how it is; the villages still don't understand each other. Someday we'll be able to go public but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Now come on, I can smell the food from here!" He grabbed my hand and raced towards town hall. I laughed loudly as I slid on the snow. Kana was right, I could smell the dinner inside and it smelt amazing. My stomach growled loudly. We walked up the steps and I could hear Mikhail's violin from inside. The town hall was decorated with large Chinese lanterns and beautiful red and gold streamers. Everyone was mulling about, all dressed to the nines. Nori, who was wearing a beautiful red _kimono_, was standing with her grandfather Gombe who was dressed in a black and blue _hakama_. They both waved at us and we waved back. Ina approached us both wearing a gorgeous green sari embroidered with gold thread.

"Hello Kana and Lillian!" She pulled us into a big hug, "I'm so glad you two could make it! You both look so wonderful! We have food in the next room and then dancing as well!" She gave us a huge smile, which was rare even for Ina; "I hope to see you two on the dance floor later!" She dashed off to talk to Dr. Ayame who was wearing a strapless cream coloured gown. I suddenly felt very underdressed even in my dress.

"Now I'm sort of wishing I decided to wear a tie or something." Kana whispered in my ear. I broke out into a smile.

"I was thinking the same thing." I whispered back. We both started to laugh and walked around town hall. Mikhail was standing on the stage, performing a beautifully melancholic piece. He nodded to me when he noticed me staring. I had barely spoken to Mikhail since he moved to Konohana in the fall but he was a kind individual. But I thought he was too pretentious for his own good sometimes.

"Come on, let's have a quick dance before dinner!" Kana dragged me to the dance floor.

"Noo Kana! I don't dance!" I objected to deaf ears. Kana grabbed my hand and placed his other on my hip. I reluctantly placed my hand on his shoulder and tried to waltz with him.

"See, this isn't so bad!"

"You say that now. You won't be so happy once I step on your toes." I stated. I stared at our feet, trying to prevent someone's toes from being squished. Dance was my weakness. I could cut down a tree all by myself and ride horses for days. But when it came to getting all dolled up and dancing elegantly, I failed miserably.

"Do you mind if I cut in?" a voice from behind me spoke. I perked my head up. It couldn't be. He's supposed to be gone.

"Dirk! My man! You showed up! Yeah of course! But be aware, she's a notorious toe-stepper." Kana shot me a quick smile before leaving me alone on the dance floor with Dirk. I turned to look at him, to see if this was real. To see if maybe I was delirious. But there he stood, in the flesh. He wasn't wearing his hat and his hair was combed away from his face. He wore a black suit with a loose skinny tie. His hands were in his pockets as he stared at me. I felt like I could finally breathe with him next to me.

"Hi." I spoke finally.

"Hi." He had a small smile.

"You're here…" I spoke slowly, "You're not in Zephyr. Why aren't you in Zephyr?"

He held his hand out to me, "Dance with me first, then I'll tell you." I placed my hand on his and we assumed the positions. Our bodies were so close, I could smell his cologne. Some of the other villagers joined on the dance floor. I saw Nori dancing with Hiro, which made me smile. Now talk about a couple we've been waiting for. Gombe pulled Yun into a waltz much to her delight. Mako danced happily with Dr. Ayame. Seeing everyone so happy made my heart swell with joy.

Dirk and I danced slowly to the music. We were literally dancing cheek to cheek. I tried to ignore my stomach flipping inside "You look beautiful Lil." Dirk broke the silence between us.

I smiled gently, "Thanks. It feels weird to be out of working clothes. You don't look so bad yourself. It's nice to see you out of burgundy." I laughed softly. Dirk joined in.

I heard him sigh, "I'm so sorry Lillian, about that night. I shouldn't have let you leave. You were right, you're always right. I was being hasty in my decision and I didn't think about you. I hope you can forgive me."

"Of course I can." I whispered, "Why are you here Dirk? Why aren't going home?" I finally asked.

"You know we never really talked about when you kissed me on the cliff."

"You want to talk about it now? Well like I had said, I remember doing it. It came back to me throughout the day. You never mentioned it so I assumed you didn't want to talk about it." I looked away from the others and stared into Dirk's green eyes, "I shouldn't have done it. But I was drunk and an emotional mess. But I don't regret it."

Dirk looked at me and smiled, "Good. I don't regret it either. It made me realize that I don't think of Gretel when I'm with you. I think of you. I constantly think of you afterwards and your well-being. I cam to realize that you were the person I thought last about before I fall asleep and you are the one I think about first in the morning. I noticed a while ago that I hadn't thought of Gretel and home in a long time. Hell, Zephyr isn't even home anymore. It's Konohana. You've helped me make this place my home. I never mentioned the kiss because I thought you regretted it. You were drunk. It could have meant nothing to you when it meant something to me." He squeezed my hand, "That's why I'm not on a train back to Zephyr right now, because of you. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense to you right now, but what I'm trying to say is, I'm falling for you. I made the mistake once of not telling a girl how I felt and I lost out. I'm not making the same mistake twice. I am falling in love with you Lillian."

I gasped slightly. This couldn't be happening, "M-me?"

"Yes, you. I'm falling for a farming girl who gladly takes on a guy twice her size in arm-wrestling. I'm falling for a girl who loves her friends and her family so unconditionally that she isn't afraid to defend them to complete strangers. I'm falling for the girl who is not afraid to call me out on my bullshit and help me put my life back on track. I'm falling for the girl who made me realize there was a lot worth living for and that my life is worth something. I want to be with you Lillian. I just hope you want to be with me too. Do you?"

"I-I love you Dirk. Of course I want to be with you." I told him, "I've been in love with you since I was 15. Ever since that summer in Zephyr. When you got that stupid eagle feather, I knew I could only love you even if you never loved me back. I don't think you realize how much what you just said means to me." I felt my eyes water. I saw a red blush rise to Dirk's cheeks. He leaned his head against mine as we continued to dance.

"Come on, let's get some air." He said with a smile. He held out his hand to me and I grabbed it happily. We passed by everyone and quietly escaped out the front doors. The snow was still falling but it wasn't cold like before, or it just didn't bother me. I leaned against the wall of the town hall and watched Dirk. He stared into the night sky with a tiny smile. I looked down at my shoes, blushing. My toes tingled from the cold.

"So what now?" I looked back up at Dirk.

"I'm not sure," He smiled, "I never got this far in my imagination. But I guess we start with a date and go from there. It doesn't really matter, as long as we're together." He stood in front of me, he leaned his hand against the wall, "It's probably obvious that I've never done this before." He laughed uneasily.

"You don't have to be nervous around me."

"It's hard not to be. I keep thinking I'll wake up from this dream."

"I have to ask," I wrapped my arms around Dirk's neck, "will you ever go back to Zephyr? Even to visit? You do have a niece now."

"Maybe eventually. But right now, I want to stay right here. Besides if I ever go back to Zephyr, I hope you'll come with me. Ivan will be curious to know why I'm deciding to stay."

"I can't honestly be the only reason you're staying."

"No. But you're up there." He lowered his face to mine, "I couldn't leave town knowing I might never get to kiss you again." His gently placed his lips on mine. I kissed him softly. It was different from our first kiss that one was full of surprise but this was sweet. Dirk wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. Our kiss deepened. I tightened my hands on his neck, twirling the tendrils of his hair between my fingers. From inside, I could hear the soft jazz music was playing. The world moved around us but we were at the centre. Time stood still. I pulled away reluctantly rested my head on his shoulder.

"Wow." I exhaled.

"Happy New Year, Lillian." He cupped my chin and lifted my face to his.

I need to ask you something."

"Shoot." Dirk moved his hand towards my cheek and moved my curled tendrils away from my face.

"When I asked you if you still loved Gretel…you said you didn't know? What does that mean?"

He sighed, "I knew you were going to ask me that. It means that I think I will always have an appreciation for her and remember her fondly as my first love. But when you asked me if I was in love with her, I wasn't sure anymore. She's my family now and I've come to terms with it. Besides, I realized that you were the one I wanted. When you yelled at me, wow." He kissed my forehead, "I had never seen you so mad. I thought you were mad during that storm in the summer but that was nothing compared to you last week. I was mad at first, to tell the truth. I didn't understand why didn't support me but I…I was wrong. I was selfish. I didn't think about anyone else's feelings, let alone yours. I just hope you can forgive me."  
>"Of course I do." I reassured him, "I'm here aren't I?"<p>

"I guess so. You're too good for me. You deserve so much better than I."

"Maybe, but I don't want anyone else. Come on, let's go back inside." I took his hand in mine, "they'll be serving dinner soon." We walked into town hall hand in hand. I could see the adults stare and whisper among each other but I didn't care. For once, I wanted them to see. I've spent years building up these walls around my life but one person has torn them down one by one. I don't want to rebuild the walls. I want everyone to see how happy I am.

"They're all staring at us." Dirk whispered.

"Let them stare."

"We might as well make it something worth looking at." Dirk grabbed me and kissed me again. I could hear a cheer, probably from Kana, and some giggles. We pulled apart and I looked at our neighbours embarrassingly. But they were all smiling. Mako shot me a thumbs up.

"About time guys!" Kana shouted from the bar, "It's not like we've been waiting three months or anything!" Everyone broke out into laughter and I nestled my face into Dirk's arm. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and embraced me tightly. It was perfect. For the first time in a long time, everything was perfect.


	10. how i met my imaginary children

An: Just a fluffy chapter for now. I'm just trying to figure out where the plot goes from here. I have some ideas that might work but please give me some time! Thanks for the wonderful support everyone!

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><p>"Lillian!" I heard a loud banging on my door. I groaned and tried to sit up. Dirk's arm was lying across my back. He seemed oblivious to the knocking as he continued to snore. My alarm clock read 6 AM. I groaned as I rolled out of bed. It was Sunday; I liked trying to sleep in on Sundays. The dogs weren't even barking. King just perked his head up then went back to sleep. I stifled a yawn as I opened the front door. Little Rahi, Ina's son, was panting and clutching his hat.<p>

"Rahi? What are you doing here?"

"It's my mom!" Rahi said in a panic, "She went to go see Rutger and I think they're going to start fighting! You need to stop her! We've been getting along with Bluebell and i'm worried it'll be ruined!"

I sighed, "You don't need to say anymore. I'll go talk to them. Wait here." I saw this coming. Eileen and I had just finished the tunnel repairs and I knew there would be a confrontation between Rutger and Ina. Rahi was right though. The towns were getting along better; we had come a long way since last spring. Of course there was still tension and the cooking rivalry between the two towns was as strong as ever. But it was getting better. Rutger and Ina had been civil with each other for at least a season now. Georgia even told me her father didn't look down on Konohana like he used too. She knew he wouldn't be ready for her to come out and say she was dating Kana but baby steps.

I walked back to my bed and shook Dirk lightly. We had spent most of last night talking and it was early morning before we realized what time it was. He ended up sleeping over. We didn't do anything that would make my mother's ghost blush. We just talked then I fell asleep in his arms, "Dirk." I shook his shoulder, "come on wake up."

"What." He mumbled, "It's Sunday. It's by day off."

"I know. I'm sorry but you have to get up."

"Why?"

"Rahi's here. Ina's about to fight with Rutger. We have to go stop them or all the friendship we've achieved will be for nothing."

He sighed loudly and slowly sat up, "You know one day they'll realize how much you did for the towns and then we'll be able to sleep in on Sundays." He smiled lazily. He looked all cute with his bedhead and his rumpled white shirt. I threw him his jacket and his hat "Wait." He grabbed my wrist, "Good morning." He kissed me lightly.

"Good morning. Now get up."

I threw on my blue sweater overtop of my t-shirt and opened the front door. Rahi looked at Dirk quizzically but then shrugged off the surprise. After our little display at New Year's we had become the town's It Couple. I couldn't have a conversation with someone that wouldn't end with wondering how Dirk and I were doing. We quickly left the farm and Dirk and I ran up the mountain with Rahi on our tail. It wasn't odd that Rahi came to me instead of one of the other adults; I was close to both Ina and Rutger. I was one of two people who frequented both towns and befriended the villagers. The other was of course Dirk. But as much as I loved him, he didn't know how to handle the mayors like I did.

When we reached the meadow, everyone from both towns were milling about. They were all staring at Ina and Rutger who were standing at the edge of the meadow. Ina had her arms crossed and had a tense look on her face. Not good. Dirk went to go talk to our fellow villagers while Rahi and I slowly approached his mother.

"Mom…" Rahi spoke slowly. Ina looked at us in surprise. Her tense face disappeared.

"Rahi? Lillian? What are you two doing here?" Rutger looked surprised to see us there too.

"Rahi came to me. He thought you and Rutger were going to start fighting again. We don't want that now do we? We've achieved a good friendship between the two towns and we don't want to ruin it. We're all worried." I motioned to the villagers of both Bluebell and Konohana.

We waited for a response from the two mayors and much to everyone's surprise Ina laughed, "You think we came to fight? No! We're actually here to reconcile. Rutger and I have realized that this silly feud has been doing more harm than good."

"What? Really mom?" Rahi exclaimed happily.

"Of course!" She smiled.

"We recognize that you've done so much for both Bluebell and Konohana Lillian. You've really brought our towns together." Rutger spoke with a smile, "We've come to appreciate our neighbours and heck, and even those cooking festivals have become more fun than ever!" Everyone began talking loudly around us. Mostly cheers from the news.

"We also have some other news," Ina spoke over the crowd, "Lillian has reopened the tunnel!"

"It wasn't just me!" I corrected Ina; "I couldn't have done with it without Eileen. It was a joint project."

"Untrue." Eileen parted from the crowd and stood next to me, "You came to me with the idea. None of it would have been possible without you Lillian. You brought the materials I needed, I just supplied the labour."

"I think this is the perfect occasion for a celebration!" Rutger declared, "This is a momentous day for Bluebell and Konohana. Everyone go home and cook the best item you can! Potluck dinner here at the meadow at 5 PM! See you all there!" More cheers from the crowd. Suddenly arms were thrown around my shoulders and I was pulled into a tight hug.

"You did it Lillian!" Georgia squealed, "You finished the tunnel! No more mountains for me! Thank you so much!" She turned me around and gave me a proper hug, "I told my dad about Kana. He's just upset that I hid it from him for a year but other than that he's ecstatic!"

"I'm so happy for you Georgia!" I smiled brightly. This is what I wanted to happen. I wanted to see the other villagers happy. I wanted the tunnel to be rebuilt so it could benefit everyone. Walking up the mountain was tedious and painful. But this would make everyone's lives easier, including mine.

Everyone walked back to his or her respective villages after a few hours. Everyone had to get food ready for the party tonight. I went home and tried to get some work done. The animals were all outside, enjoying the fresh spring air and the sun. Dirk tried to help but ended up playing fetch with Lafayette the whole time.

"Traitors." I shook my head at them, "I thought you said you were going to help me." I called out to Dirk. He threw the ball one last time, just to spite me.

Dirk pouted at me, "I'm just not any good at this farming thing. That's why I cook and stay at home with our imaginary children."

I stopped tilling the soil and leaned against my hoe, "Imaginary children?"

"Yes we have two." He shot me a grin, "Felix is three and Aria is one and half. Felix is a rascal. If I don't have both eyes on him, he just runs off. But Aria is calm. She loves playing with Snowball. Felix likes cake, of course. But surprisingly Aria's favourite food is broccoli. Don't tell Felix," Dirk's voice turned into a hushed whisper, "But Aria is my favourite."

I rolled my eyes, "You're unbelievable. How did you even come up with something like that?"

"My brother Ivan always said I had a vivid imagination."

"How is Ivan? How's the baby?" I returned to tilling the soil. Spring has so far been good to me. My turnips sold well and my potatoes were almost ready to be harvested. But I had invested in some flower seeds this season. Pink roses.

"He doesn't sleep much obviously, but he's already written to me saying she's a future scholar. Alison is only three weeks old. I don't think she does much more than stare into space and sleep. I doubt she's thinking about equations or literary themes. But I'm letting him have his fun. He sends his regards to you though." Dirk leaned against my fence

"You told him about me?" I looked at him surprise.

"Yeah of course. He's my brother. You're not a fling or some one-night stand Lillian. I'm in this for the long haul."

"I know. I'm just surprised."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "It's just a serious thing. I didn't expect you to tell your brother about me. At least not yet."

He put his hands in his pockets sheepishly, "Like I said, I'm in this for a long time. I mean if you're not, then we should probably-"

"Dirk," I interrupted him, "Stop. I'm in this for the long haul too. Imaginary children and all. I was just surprised. You told your only family about me and I can't tell anyone about you. It's a step, but I like it." I kissed his cheek and went back to work.

Dirk smiled, "I'm going to go make the food for tonight. Do you think everyone likes Cream Croquette?"

"You're the only one who likes Cream Croquette. You really have an unhealthy obsession with that dish. Maybe you should make a cake for Felix and everyone instead." I joked.

"Deal. One chocolate cake coming up." He kissed me sweetly before heading inside and leaving me alone. I dug my hoe into the ground. If Ivan knew about me, then Gretel did. I wonder what she thinks about me. Is she happy? Jealous perhaps? Or maybe she feels relief that she doesn't have a brother-in-law who is in love with her. Whatever she thought, it didn't matter. I had Dirk and he was all I needed.


	11. who wants to play 20 questions?

AN: Hey everyone, this chapter has mentions of sex so if you're not comfortable then i would recommend skipping it! So i finally got my groove back and i have a few more ideas. Hope you guys like it!

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><p>"It's your turn to do the dishes." I called to Dirk when he walked into his kitchen to get more water. I stared at my empty plate with satisfaction. My first real attempt at cooking had gone splendidly. Well the rice was a little overcooked and the chicken was sort of burnt but I still call it a success.<p>

He returned and sat down across from me, "No I'm pretty sure it's your turn. I swear I did them last time."

"Well I cooked so you should probably do the dishes!" I proposed.

"Nice try. I cook all the time and you always stick me with the dishes. I'm not doing them tonight."

I pouted, "I'll make it up to you. I'll do them next time!"

He sighed and shook his head, "I'm so weak and you're hopeless." He grabbed our empty dishes and took them to his sink, "You'll never do the dishes will you?"

"I have to look after Felix and Aria." I jested. The joke about our imaginary children had become a regular joke between us. Mostly it was an excuse for me not to do my chores. Dirk chuckled and became filling the sink with water. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows; showing off his newly tanned arms. Summer had come in full swing to Konohana. I really enjoyed the sunshine filled days and the long sunsets, but Dirk didn't like the heat. He always complained about how he spent most of the day in the heat. I loved spending everyday in the sunshine. Whenever it rained, I stayed cooped up inside. I hated the rain. Sure it watered my plants for me but it limited all the things I could possibly do. Besides trying to forage on the mountain with all the mud is impossible.

"What are you looking at?" Dirk asked me. I zoned back in and looked at his face.

"Nothing! I was just thinking."

"About?" He inquired.

"How much I dislike the rain." I replied absentmindedly.

"Really? You don't like the rain? I love it, it means I get a day off." Dirk smirked, "It's funny that you mentioned that since I've been thinking recently how much I still don't know about you."

I leaned onto my palm, "What do you mean? You know me."

Dirk took his hands out of the soapy water and dried them off, "Well yeah I know I do. I know the important things about you. But I don't know the trivial things, like that you disliked rain. But it goes both ways, you don't know the stupid little things about me either. We've never really talked about it."

"Okay, then let's talk about it. What's your least favourite food?"

Dirk shuddered "ugh simmered potato. It's revolting."

I laughed, "Really? It's just a potato!"

"I know, it's ridiculous but I hate it. What about you?"

"Milk curry for sure. I just never liked the idea of having milk with curry." I informed him.

"Interesting." Dirk sat down next to me, "Okay favourite book?"

"Pride and Prejudice."

He tsked, "cliché."

"Shut up." I pushed him lightly, "I love it. You?"

"War and Peace."

"You've actually read the whole thing?"

"A few times actually. I know it's massive and slow to start but I love it. It's the only book I brought from Zephyr. I had to sneak it out, Ivan would lose his mind if he noticed I took a book from his library." He began to laugh, "He was always so focused on books that he never noticed the attention he would get from girls. There was this one girl, before Gretel, her name was Freya and she would only be in town on the weekends since she worked in the city and she would honestly go up to Ivan as he is reading and take his book from him so they could talk. He would freak out if she held the book improperly. It took a whole year for him to realize she liked him. But by that point, he already had feelings for Gretel. Poor Freya, I wonder how she is now."

"You must miss Ivan a lot. You bring him up all the time." I noticed.

"Yeah I do. I've been here for a year now. I've never been this long away from Ivan. Our parents died when I was young so Ivan was all I had. Sometimes he drove me up the wall because he acted more like a father than a brother but I still love him. Even if I tend to drive him nuts."

"You still have no regrets not moving back to Zephyr?" I asked.

He gently grabbed my free hand, "None what so ever. Okay my turn. Favourite food?"

"Butter chicken. First kiss?"

Dirk blushed, "Her name was Antoinette and I was sixteen. She's the daughter of one of the villagers in Zephyr. How about you?"

"His name was Ethan. I was fourteen, he was seventeen. Our braces got stuck together and his mother had to help untangle us. But my story is boring. Tell me more about Antoinette!"

Dirk chuckled, "Your story sounds way more exciting than mine. Well to be honest, I'm not really sure how it happened. I was hanging out at her house then next thing I was kissing her. Well it's more likely that she kissed me first. She was known for getting what she wanted…" Dirk concluded.

"So what happened between you two?"

"Surprisingly nothing. We never even talked about it again. She was always determined to move to the city and be a fashion designer so I doubt she would have wanted someone holding her back." Dirk remarked, "Oh well. Okay your turn."

"Alright." I bit my lip, thinking of a question, "The first time you had sex?"

Dirk's blush intensified, "Oh well…" he coughed loudly, "I've never…. oh"

"Oh goddess!" I said panicked, "I didn't know! I just thought you would have. I'm so sorry!" I felt my cheeks heat up furiously.

"Don't be sorry! How would you have known! We've never talked about it! I mean we were going to have to talk about it eventually but yeah haha..." he laughed awkwardly, "So I'm guessing you have huh?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, "Yeah. When I was 18. His name was Derek. He was the only one though."

"So you and Cam never…"

I looked at Dirk, "No, never."

He breathed a sigh of relief, "Okay well that makes me feel better. I was worried I might not be able to match up to your ex-boyfriend."

"You don't have to worry about anything Dirk. I can wait if you're more comfortable about it. Not that I expected to have it soon or that I don't want to. I mean it's not like I want to have it like _right_ now or anything." I said flustered, "Oh this is so confusing."

"Relax Lil, I know what you mean. I know it sounds completely lame but I've just been waiting for the right person." Dirk took a sip of his water.

"It's not lame, don't think that." I said comfortingly, "I think it's smart."

"Thank you Lil. I've been thinking about it for a while. I'm ready if you are." He leaned in and kissed me. I felt urgency in our kiss. As if he had to prove something to me. His hand gripped my neck tightly and his other hand was knotted into my hair. My hands brushed his collarbone and I felt the goose bumps rise on his skin. Dirk moved his lips from mine and kissed my neck. He gathered me up in his arms and lowered me onto his carpet. He kissed me fiercely, leaving me breathless. Dirk moved his hands towards my shirt buttons but hesitated.

"Dirk…" I mumbled, "Are we really ready for this?"

He raised his face above mine, "Are you not comfortable?" he said with a stressed tone. I wasn't the one who wasn't comfortable, it was he.

I placed my hand on his cheek, "Sweetie, I think it's you. Dirk, you don't have to prove anything to me by having sex with me now. I want you to be comfortable. I don't want to force you to do something you're not ready for. I love you."

He sighed and laid next to me on the carpet, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? Dirk it's perfectly all right." I smiled.

"I'm just nervous. I've never felt this way before. I'm just worried I won't be to snuff for you. I just want to be good enough."

"You are more than good. You are perfect to me. When it happens, it'll happen. Till then, who cares. I'm happy where we are and I am unbelievably happy when I'm with you."

Dirk turned his face so our eyes met, "I love you Lillian." Dirk exclaimed. I held my breath for a moment. This was the first time he had ever said it. He heard me say it all the time. But he never said it back. At New Year's he acknowledged he had deep feelings for me but he never said he loved me. Dirk entwined his fingers with mine and raised them to his mouth. He kissed them, all while still holding eye contact with me.

"And I love you Dirk." I sighed, feeling the embrace of him around me.

"It's your turn to do the dishes." He smiled before kissing me again, leaving me with a silly grin on my face.


	12. welcome to fight club

AN: hello all! I hope everything is going well! I know, slight cliffhanger but you have to wait till next week till the next chapter! I'm sorry but finals and such! Thanks for all the love! Enjoy everyone!

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><p>The summer breeze felt amazing on my skin as I walked into Bluebell one afternoon. I was whistling happily for the first time in a while. My crops had brought in a massive cheque and for once I would actually have money at the end of the month. Also things with Dirk were going great. Life seemed too perfect to be real.<p>

"Hey Lillian!" Ash waved at me from his barn.

"Hey Ash!" I smiled at him as I walked to his fence.

"You're in a good mood. How have you been?" Ash swung his pitchfork on his shoulder with a large smile.

"I'm in a really great mood Ash! The farm's going great and my crops are really growing well. How have you been? How's Laney?" I shot him a wink. Laney had practically sprinted to my house a few days earlier to tell me that she and Ash were finally dating. This was news I had been waiting for since last summer. Finally took him long enough.

Ash blushed, "She's great, as always. I knew she would have told you already. Surprisingly, Cheryl loves her so she's not even mad that I have a new special girl. That's really good to hear about your farm. You gotta know we only want the best for you even if you do live in Konohana. I keep telling you, you gotta move to Bluebell. Think of all the space you could have for your animals! You must be so sick of growing crops all the time!"

"Tell me about it, if I have to sow any more seeds this summer I might lose my mind." I sighed, "It would be nice to have more animals actually. But I couldn't possibly move here."

"Why not?" Ash asked.

"Even with the tunnel, it would be such a big move. Besides I'm settled in Konohana." I told him.

"It sounds like you don't want to leave Dirk to me. You know, I think you two are great together. He has supported you already through your work so I can't imagine he would try and stop you from trying to have a better life. But that's just my two cents. I honestly think and I'm not being biased here, that you could do so much better here. You love animals Lillian and you don't have the space for more than about 2 cows, 2 sheep, and 4 chickens. You can practically triple that here. You could finally get a second cow." Ash noted. He had a smile on his face. He knew he had convinced me, "If you go talk to Rutger right now I bet he would happily set you up to move in by the 30th."

"Alright, you convinced me!" I laughed happily, "I guess I'm moving to Bluebell." I continued to laugh. Ash was right; he knew I loved working with animals more than growing crops.

"Awesome! You know Laney and Georgia will be ecstatic. And with the tunnel, it'll be easy for you and Dirk to keep seeing each other. It's a win-win situation!"

"I'm going to go talk to Rutger right now! I'll see you later Ash!" I waved goodbye to him as I ran to the town hall. It really was an amazing day after all.

A few hours later, Dirk opened my front door after a long day of work for him. I was sitting at my kitchen table, an open wine bottle and two glasses.

"Hello love, special occasion?" He said as he eyed the wine.

"I have amazing news!" I clapped my hands together, "Sit down!"

Dirk sat down next to me, "okay, what's the news?" I poured him a glass of wine.

"I was talking to Ash today when I was in Bluebell and he made me realize what I wanted out of my farm. I don't want to grow crops anymore. I want to be a rancher. I want to raise animals. I'm so sick of growing turnips and hoping that I can make a decent living out of it. So I talked it through with Rutger and he's arranging for me to move into the Bluebell farm at the end of the week!" I grabbed Dirk's arm, "Isn't that amazing? I can raise all the animals I've ever wanted. I can finally get a sheep and a second cow and more chickens. The dogs will love it too, more room for them to run around."

"Wow." Dirk said in an odd tone, "that's uh really great Lil. I'm so happy for you."

I removed my hand from Dirk's arm, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He shook his head, "Nothing at all. This is great news Lil."

I sighed, "Dirk, don't lie to me. I know you better than that. Tell me the truth."

He took a large drink from his wine glass, "Why didn't you talk to me about this? You just decided to move without even talking to me."

"About moving to Bluebell? Why would I? Besides I would just be living across the tunnel. I didn't think it would upset you-"

"I'm not upset!" He said suddenly, "I'm just confused to why you decided a huge step in your life, our life, without me."

"I'm not moving three cities away Dirk, I'm just moving to the other side of the mountain. You're there everyday! We'll see each other no more than we do now. Nothing will change. Why are you being like this?"

"Because you made this decision without me! And what's worse about it is that you're not even sorry about it. You're never sorry about anything!" Dirk stood up and rubbed his hands over his face, "We're in a serious relationship Lillian. You don't make huge decisions like this without considering how I would feel."

"I thought you would be happy." My voice broke, "We're not married or anything, we don't even live together-"

"Stop making excuses!" Dirk shouted, "You make excuses even when you know you're wrong. You decided this because it's what you wanted and you didn't even think what I would have wanted. I don't want you to live in Bluebell."

"Why? It's a great town and you know the people!"

"It's not Konohana. Besides you made a family here amongst the people of Konohana. You're giving them all up just because Ash told you it was a good idea! You're not even sorry that you're going to move. Not that you would apologize even if you were sorry."

"What does that mean?" I shouted back.

"It means that you have never apologized for anything! Even when you're wrong. You get mad at me when I don't apologize or do something without your consent, like thinking about moving back to Zephyr. But when you do it, it's fine. You got so mad at me when I told you I was going to move back and you told me I was running away but you did the exact same thing that night. You ran away from our argument! It wasn't going your way so you left. Just like right now. You can make this farm successful but it's not as fast as you want so you're bailing. You're never sorry for anything."

"You want to me to apologize?" I yelled, "Fine! I'm sorry for yelling and being such a horrible girlfriend to you. I'm sorry for loving you unconditionally even if you had moved back to Zephyr. But you're right, I'm not sorry about my plan to move to Bluebell. This is best for me and for my future. I did think of you too. Ash had to convince me a great deal to get me to move. He thought you would be happy for me and be urging me to pursue what would make me happy, but I guess he was wrong." I balled my hands into fists and tried to breathe. Dirk was breathing heavily but was staring firmly at me.

"I'm not going to able to make you change your mind am I?"

"No." I stated shortly, "I want to do this. I want your support; I always want your support. But I'm still doing this. It's time for me to do something that benefits my future. I'm sorry if you feel hurt by my decision, it was never my intention." I slowly approached my love. His body was tense with anger, "please," I brought my voice down to a whisper, "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize."

He lowered his face near mine, his hair drooping onto his forehead, "You never do. You're not perfect but neither am I. It's okay love. It'll be alright," He kissed my forehead, "I'm going to go." He turned towards the front door.

"Dirk wait," I grabbed his hand, "I don't want you to go unless I know we're okay. I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing you're upset with me. I want us to be good again. I don't want this to be like last time. I don't want one of us to run out when we could have solved it. I don't want to lose you. You bring the greatest happiness to my life."

Dirk gently pushed the hair off my face, "We're okay. I promise. I'm just tired. Congratulations on your big move Lillian. I'll stop by later and see if you need help moving anything." He kissed me before dropping my hand.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He gave me a small smile before walking out my front door. He shut the front door and I felt my legs give way. I grabbed the table and let the tears stream down my face. I knew Dirk. I knew him better than anyone and I knew he was lying to me. He was still mad and he might not forgive me. Is it a good idea to move to Bluebell if it means losing him? Why couldn't I have both? I love him but the idea of moving to Bluebell fills me with such excitement. I wanted to go but I want Dirk to be at my side. I can't lose him.

Dirk's POV 

Everything is not all right. I stormed out of Lillian's house. I walk home. Why would she want to move? We've been doing so well together. Is it me? Is this her way of trying to distance herself from me? I open the door and slam it shut. I'm mad. I'm not even sure why. She was right, this is good for her. But being in Bluebell, with him, angers me beyond belief. But I can't talk to her about it. She would laugh and tell me it's nothing. I trust her. I love her. I love her silly smile and the way she says my name. But I don't trust him. His sly charm and the eyes that could get blood pumping. If I let her go, I may never get her back. He's better than me. He's what she needs. I can never be who she needs me to be. I pick up my telephone and dial the familiar number. My fingers do not listen to my brain. I tell myself to stop but it's impossible. The line is ringing. Ringing. Ringing. Ringing. A voice. A voice that makes my stomach flop and my throat tighten.

"Hello Gretel."


	13. new beginnings and justified endings

AN: Hey everyone! Here is a wonderfully long chapter for you all to last the week! Have a wonderful and merry christmas everyone! I will update next week! Thanks for all the great support everyone! Bless you all!

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><p>"<em>Hello Gretel." He spoke softly. <em>

_ "Dirk…" the young woman spoke quietly, "Is that you? You know this is long distance right?"_

_ He chuckled, "Of course. It must be late there. I'm sorry if I woke you or the baby."_

_ "No no. Don't be sorry. I just put Alison down for the night. Ivan is out like a light, you know you brother, that man can fall asleep before his head hits the pillow." She sighed, "What's wrong?"_

_ "What do you mean?" _

_ "I mean you never call. You only write and you don't write to me. You write to Ivan. You pretend like I don't exist. So there must be something horribly wrong if you're calling me in the middle of the night." The woman's voice was soft; it left like home to him. But there was still the hint of the mischievous nature she had exhibited to him many times but it was much more subdued._

_ "Gretel…I'm in love."_

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><p>I threw the last cardboard box on my new bed with a grunt. Georgia followed suit and put down my box of books, "I don't know why you have so many darn books Lillian, you barely have any time to read." She complained. She stretched her back and her arms.<p>

I only shrugged, "I like to think I'm in an intellectual." I looked around my new home with a tiny squeal. Finally everything was moved in. the dogs already seemed to love the new field. With Ash and Jessica's help, I got Betsy and the chickens here with no issues. Finally after a week of packing all my belongings up, the 30th had arrived and it was time to move into my new home.

"Please tell me this is all of it!" Laney gasped as she came through the front door carrying the box of kitchen supplies. Georgia rushed to her side and took the box from Laney.

"That's all of it! I'm now officially a Bluebell resident!" I beamed to them. The girls returned the smiles and we all collapsed into my kitchen chairs.

"You know I am glad you're living here but if it doesn't work out and you move back to Konohana, I'm not helping you move!" Georgia declared, "And I thought herding horses were hard. You have too much crap Lil."

"Why did none of our boyfriends help us?' Laney complained, "Isn't that what they're there for!"

"Well Kana is working obviously. But he's gonna stop by later with a housewarming but also going-away present." Georgia spoke.

"And I guess Ash did help. He got Betsy here fine." Laney added.

"So that just leaves my boyfriend." I ran my fingers through my hair, "But he doesn't even want to speak to me right now so I doubt he would have been willing to help me move in."

"WHAT!" Georgia and Laney shouted together. They burst out of the chairs and rushed to my side, "Is everything okay? I thought you said you guys had worked it out!?" they spoke at the same time.

"Calm down both of you!" I swatted at them to sit down, "I thought we were getting to be okay. But Dirk came over last night and we got into another horrible argument. He told me he wasn't okay with me moving here. I asked him why but he…he wouldn't say. He got all-secretive and he's never kept secrets from me. I told him I thought he didn't trust me and he pretty much confirmed he didn't. I started to cry and he just…left." The thought of last night brought tears to my eyes, "I've never seen him like this. He just seemed so distracted and…. I don't know. He just wasn't himself. I tried to go see him this morning to apologize but he wasn't home."

"You're really worried about him." Laney observed.

"Of course I am. I love him. He's been different since I told him my plans. But there's something else on his mind other than me moving here. He wouldn't tell me what. Ugh…" I groaned, "what if he's going to break up with me!"

"If he breaks up with you, I'm gonna beat his ass." Georgia declared, "You are the best darn thing that has come into his life! If y'all aren't married within the year, I will be shocked!"

"I wouldn't bet on anything." I sighed and rose from the chair, "I'm going to start unpacking. Remember the house warming is tonight! Let everyone know! I want to see beer and presents, you hear me?" Laney and Georgia laughed. Laney pulled me into a tight hug before leaving. It felt nice to have the comfort of my two friends, especially now. The girls closed the front door behind them as I opened the cardboard box on my bed. A single eagle feather stared up at me and I started to cry.

* * *

><p>"<em>You're in love? Congratulations Dirk! It's that female farmer I've been hearing about isn't it?" He couldn't help but notice the tone of relief in her voice.<em>

_ "Her name is Lillian."_ _he held onto the phone tightly, "She's a farmer. I actually knew her from a summer a long time ago."_

"_That's great! I'm so happy."_

_ "Thank you." he spoke softly._

_ "Dirk what's wrong? You don't sound happy." She said concerned, "What's bothering you?"_

_ "If Ivan had accepted a job without telling you. A job that would benefit you both greatly, would you be furious with him?"_

_ The line was silent but finally she spoke, "That's a tough question. Perhaps initially but not in the end. I trust Ivan with my life. He knows that the job would benefit us in the long run then I would support him fully. I trust his judgement and I know he would only do something that would benefit our family."_

"_Interesting." He clucked his tongue. _

"_What's going on? Are you moving away again?"_

_ "No. Not me." He said sadly._

* * *

><p>The party was in full swing. All my friends were sitting around the kitchen, laughing and drinking. Laney was sitting with Cam and Ash while Georgia was doing shots with Hiro. Mikhail and Reina were chatting lively about something and Nori was the one pouring Hiro and Georgia's shots. The only one missing was Dirk. I couldn't hide my disappointment well. I had even put on a skirt and everything for tonight. I'm still wearing my blue Konohana sweater but wearing a skirt is a big deal for me. Kana and I were sitting on the kitchen table, drinking some craft beer than Kana brought me as a gift.<p>

"This is a really cool place Lillian, I mean it looks almost identical to your place back in Konohana but it's blue…" Kana told me.

"It's a little different…barely but it's there." I looked around. He was right, it was almost identical.

"I don't see your better half around, is he coming by later?" Kana inquired.

"I have no idea." I shrugged, "I doubt it."

"Uh oh, you guys going through a rough patch?"

"Very rough." I said sadly. I took a big gulp of my beer.

"Do I need to go knock some sense into the poor guy? He's making the best girl in the whole room, after Georgia of course, sad. You can't be sad at your own party!"

I laughed, "I couldn't ask you to do that, he's your friend too after all."

Kana threw his arm around my shoulders, "yeah but nobody messes with my drinking buddy. Besides you were my friend first. Speaking of which, I need your friendly advice."

"Okay. Sure. Shoot."

Kana looked around, "Not here. Come on." He ushered me outside. I shivered slightly at the brisk night air. It was sad to me knowing that summer had come and gone so quickly.

"Okay what's going on?" I crossed my arms.

"Look." Kana dug into his pocket and pulled out a delicate blue feather. It couldn't be. My hands flew to my mouth and I could feel my breath shorten. Kana was going to propose to Georgia.

"Kana is that a blue feather? Are you? You know what this means?" I said flustered.

"Relax, you know it's not for you." He joked.

I punched him in the shoulder, "Ouch. I wouldn't marry for you a million dollars anyways." I took the feather into my palm, "This is a huge step Kana. Do you think you're ready?"

"I love her Lillian. I don't want to live without her. When she's asleep in my arms, I feel like I've found the most perfect creation on this whole planet and she chose me. I've actually been thinking about it since New Year's but I wanted the tension between the towns to decrease. But thanks to you and that tunnel, I got her dad's blessing. Georgia will be my wife," He smiled big, "if she'll have me that is.

"Of course she'll have you, you idiot. That woman loves you more than horses so you know it's serious."

"I wanted to ask you two things, first how should I give it to her?" Kana gently took back the feather and put it in his pocket.

I gasped, "You have to take her riding! She'd love that! Take her to the meadow and when you're both looking at the scenery, then pop the question!"

"Sure, that sounds perfect!" Kana cleared his throat, "Second of all, if she does say yes. Will you be my best man? Well I guess it would be best woman…"

"Your best man? Seriously me?" I said taken aback.

"Lillian, you're my best friend." Kana put his hands of my shoulders, "I know I'm supposed to have a guy but screw tradition. I want you standing next to me and making sure I don't fall over. I need you Lillian."

"Of course Kana, I'll do it!" I threw my arms around his neck and we hugged tightly, "I'm so excited for you! This is going to be amazing!" I heard a noise behind us. I turned around and Dirk was standing behind us. His hands tucked into his pockets. He was blushing awkwardly, his eyes full of sadness.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

* * *

><p>"<em>Dirk you can't be jealous of this guy. She broke up with him before you even moved there. She's obviously not interested in him. She's not moving to this town so she can be with him." The female spoke softly into the receiver. <em>

_ "I don't deserve her." He felt the tears fall down his cheeks but he did nothing to stop them. They were proof of his true underlying feelings inside._

_ "Yes you do. I don't know where these ideas came into your head. But you do." She urged, "You deserve love and from what I've heard she loves you."_

_ "It was you." _

_ "Pardon?"_

_ "These ideas came into my head because of you." He clenched his hand into a fist, "I was deeply in love with you Gretel. You've had to know. But you chose my brother. I wasn't good enough for you. Now I wonder if I'm good enough for anyone. This man, he is like Ivan. Who says I can't lose to men like him a second time."_

_ "Dirk, I didn't choose Ivan over you. Yes I knew of your feelings but it was too late. I was already in love with Ivan. Your brother chose me out of all the girls in Zephyr, me who is so opposite to him. But I need you to know that you are good enough. Don't let your experience with me ruin what you have with this girl. You're a jealous person, evidently, but it will ruin everything if you let it consume you. You need to tell her the truth."_

_ "What for? She would only laugh at me."_

_ "She wouldn't and you know it. You have to tell her the truth or you risk losing her. You want to marry her, I know you do." She spoke the last word then she heard the dial tone. He had hung up. She sighed as she placed the receiver down. She wondered if he would be all right in the end but she remembered his beaming smile and mischievous sense of humour and knew he would be._

* * *

><p>"Of course not." I bit my lip, "Kana's going to propose to Georgia! Isn't that great?"<p>

"Wow," Dirk clapped Kana on the back, "Congrats man. This is a huge step!"

"Thanks Dirk! I have to say, I'm really excited. Well except if she turns me down…"

"No way," I rolled my eyes, "Georgia would soon rather lose her horses than you."

"Hey Kana, I was wondering if I could talk to Lillian alone for a minute."

"Of course." He said, "I'll just be inside, if you need me." He looked at me before walking into the house. Dirk and I remained silent.

"It's a nice place." Dirk finally said, "I looks almost identical to the your place back in Konohana."

"Everyone's been saying that." I noted, "I'm surprised you came."

"Why? I'm your boyfriend after all."

"After last night, I assumed I wouldn't see you for a while." I kicked a small rock at my feet.

Dirk leaned against my fence, "Right about last night…I'm so sorry Lil. Goddess, I was being such an idiot. I wanted to be supportive but I was scared."

"Of what?" I walked to his side.

"Of losing you of course. The thought of you living in the same town as Cam…it drives me insane."

I looked at him in surprise, "You know there is nothing between me and him."

"Yes I know. I keep telling myself that but then I have those nagging thoughts. That you'd find someone else and leave me. I just have this underlying fear that I will never be good enough for you. That you will find someone better and then I'll be left alone, again."

"Dirk," I placed my hands on his cheeks, drawing his face close to mine, "You are perfect to me. I don't want anyone else. You are better than all the men in this town or the next. I only want you." He leaned his forehead against mine. I took in the smell of pine and mint. I closed my eyes and just focused on his hands on my arms.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered.

"I'm sorry Dirk. I should have talked to you about this. But I was just so excited."

"How about we share the blame? 50/50? Then forget about it?" His voice regained its mischievous tone.

"Deal."

"I realized I came empty-handed to your house-warming. But since I am the mailman around these parts, I thought I would give you your first piece of mail." He dug into his messenger bag and pulled out a small envelope. My name was written on the front in neat small print.

"This is your handwriting…" I took the envelope from Dirk's hands.

"I know, but I thought nothing would be a better gift than writing you your first letter." He grinned.

"You could have gotten me a plant." I rolled my eyes.

"Knowing you, you would have killed it." Dirk smirked. I pushed him playfully.

"Jerk." I shook my head. I opened the envelope and saw a small card inside. I opened it up and I stared into my own eyes. Inside was one of the few photos Dirk and I have taken together. It was from New Year's. My lips were painted red and my cheeks were unnaturally red but I was happy. I was laughing. Dirk had blinked during the photo but he still wore his silly grin.

"This describes so well doesn't it." I tore my eyes away from the photo and looked at Dirk.

"I'd say so. I need to tell you one more thing, Lil."

I closed the card, "Okay…"

"When you told me the news last week, that you were moving here. I did something I shouldn't have after I left." He breathed in deeply.

I crossed my arms, "Dirk you're worrying me."

He breathed out, "I called Gretel. I was mad at you but I was mad at myself too. I phoned her for advice. She told me not to be jealous and that I did deserve love. But I was so mad at her words I hung up. She's the one who broke my heart in the first place. Because of her, I didn't believe I could love or deserve it in return. So her words stewed inside me all week and then I lost it on you yesterday. It was like I let loose all those years of self-loathing I had. But then I felt free," He chuckled, "I finally took her words to heart. I may have a twinge of jealousy when it comes to Cam but I trust you. And I really do think you'll do amazing here. You always did like animals more."

"Are you alright now?" I inquired.

"I'm more than fine. I feel like I'm myself again." He smiled.

"As long as it helped then I am happy." I gently laid my hand on Dirk's forearm, "I'll have to thank her someday."

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? Because you called her? No of course not. She is your family after all. I trust you Dirk. She's always going to be an important person in your life. She's your first love and she's also your sister-in-law. If you kissed her or confessed some type of feelings to her then yes I would be mad. But you didn't. So there is nothing for me to be worried about."

"I love you so much Lillian Stuart." He pulled me into a tight embrace. I could hear his heart beating beneath his ribcage. I wrapped my arms around his torso, feeling his body move in my arms. Kana was right, when Dirk's arms are around me, I feel like I have found the most perfect thing on this earth. We will always have our ups and downs and I expect more rough patches to come. But as long as we're together, I guess it doesn't really matter.

"Come on," I grabbed his hand, "Let's go kick everyone out."

Dirk squeezed my hand, "Oh going to give me private tour are we?"

"You better believe it."

* * *

><p>"<em>Hello?" Her voice echoed over the line.<em>

_ "Hi." His voice sounded normal like how she remembered it, "Look I'm sorry I hung up on you last week. It was rude. I was mad."_

_ "I understand," She spoke, "I'm probably the last person you wanted advice from. But did it work?"_

_ "I had to think all week about your words to me. But I did. I told her the truth. I didn't let the jealousy consume me like I had before."_

_ "And do you feel better?"_

_ "Like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. I can breathe again." He laughed into the receiver. _

_ "And are you two okay?" She asked. She had thought a great deal on this farmer who had won Dirk's heart. _

_ "We're perfect. I just wanted to thank you. You're a great sister Gretel." She could hear his smile._

_ "It's not a problem Dirk. You know I would do anything for you. You're family after all."_

_ "I have to go, but you'll get a letter from me soon. Bye."_

_ "Bye." She hung up the phone with a tender smile. Everything was peaceful once more._


	14. show me how much you love me

AN: Hey everyone, hope you had a wonderful holiday season! This update is rated M for lemons (very poor lemons but lemons none the less). I had a lot of debate of adding this chapter. I'm horrible at writing scenes like this but i think i did it justice. I'm not one for writing smut. If that is what you're looking for i apologize because i am not comfortable writing that type of scenarios. Well i hope you all enjoy (and i apologize if this is not up to par for you all) and i'll update next week!

* * *

><p>With everyone finally gone, Dirk and I could breath a sigh of relief. It was midnight before everyone actually left. My plan for a romantic evening was dashed. Besides, I had already thrown my hair into a bun; there would be no fun tonight. I washed all the dishes in the sink while Dirk grabbed all the empty bottles lying around.<p>

"I thought you said we were going to kick them out?" He looked at his watch, "two hours ago…"

I shrugged, "I thought it would be easy! I practically had to drag Laney out of the kitchen because she wouldn't stop making food." I sighed loudly as Dirk stifled a yawn, "I'm sorry, you don't have to stay. I know it's late. I can finish cleaning this up." I rinsed off a messy plate.

Dirk shook his head, "No way. I still want that private tour you promised me. I've been looking forward to that two or three drinks ago."

I snorted, "Right because there is nothing sexier than me with my elbows deep in dirty water."

Dirk walked up behind me, moving his hands over my stomach and holding me tight, "The fact that you're even doing the dishes is sexy. You're even doing them voluntarily, you're just a stone cold fox." He kissed the skin below my ear. I shivered. Dirk continued to kiss down my neck to my collarbone. I closed my eyes, feeling the touch of his lips on my skin.

"Dirk, come on." I flicked him with water, "I can't leave these dishes." I opened my eyes and focused on the pile of dishes in front of me.

"What? You don't like me trying to be all sensual and sexy?" Dirk pouted.

"Not when I have a stack of dishes!"

"Forget the dishes! I'll do them with you in the morning, okay? It's Sunday after all." He kissed my neck again. I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes once more.

"Fine," I muttered, "You win."

"You give up too easily." He teased me. I dried off my hands and turned towards him. He kissed me passionately. My fingers brushed his skin. Dirk lifted me onto the countertop; away from the dishes thank the goddess. My arms entwined around his neck, pulling him closer to me. My legs wrapped around his torso. Dirk kissed my lips continuously but moved down my neck again. A moan escaped from my lips.

"Dirk," I moaned, "If you're not ready for the next step then we should stop." I didn't want him to stop. His fingers burned my skin and send electricity down my spine. My fingers clutched at his shirt. I wanted to rip it off his body.

"We've waited long enough. " He slid off my knee-high socks and let them fall to the floor. His fingers grazed my thighs beneath my skirt. I kissed Dirk fiercely. He exhaled into me. I bit his lip teasing him. I pulled back, biting my lip "tease." He whispered into my ear. He lifted me off the counter and he pushed me up against the wall. His fingers grazed my skin beneath the hem of my tank top. I pulled off his jacket, my hands roaming around his arms. Dirk kissed me passionately and his lips moved away from mine and moved his way down my neck. I inhaled sharply, feeling as if my skin was on fire. I wrapped my arms around his torso and dug my fingers into his back but he still continued. Dirk returned his lips to mine, pulling me into a deep kiss.

"Is this okay?" He whispered into my ear.

"Don't stop." I urged him, "Don't ever stop." We made our way to my bed, jackets and socks being left behind. We tumbled into my bed together, our hands still aching for each other's bodies. Was this truly happening? I wasn't dreaming right?

"I love you so much Lillian." Dirk pulled back and gently ran his hand over my face. He kissed my eyelids then my nose, moving his way down to my lips, "I'm the luckiest man in the world."

"Tell me how much you love me." I ordered him. Dirk slowly lifted my sweater off, his hands exploring my body.

"One thousand." He slid off my tank top, "two thousand," my skirt, "three thousand," my bra, "four thousand," everything "all the way to a million." He kissed me sweetly.

I groaned, "That was so cheesy." I started to laugh into his shoulder.

"I know. I'm not very good at this." He said sheepishly.

"You're doing fine." I soothed him. I began unbuttoning his shirt as Dirk kissed my body. My hands roamed over his bare chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath my fingertips. His fingers gently teased my breasts making my heartbeat faster. Dirk touched them sensuously. I inhaled sharply. My hands made their way to Dirk's waist. I pulled at his pant strings and stripped him to his boxers. Dirk kissed me again and as our kiss deepened, the boxers joined the others on the floor. Dirk laced his fingers with mine as we continued to kiss and explore each other. Our bare skin gave off intense heat. Dirk moved his free hand down my ribcage to my back, holding me against him tightly. He moved our entwined hands above my head and held me down. I bit my lip, stopping myself from moaning. Warmth spread from inside me throughout my body, sending my limbs through waves of ecstasy.

"Wait…wait!" I exhaled into Dirk's ear. I reached, with my free hand, into my nightstand drawer grabbing the small-foiled wrapper.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" He said panicked.

"No." I moaned, "No. You are doing perfectly fine." I handed him the small wrapper, "It's just that we don't want a little human before marriage right?" I started to giggle, "Goddess imagine what people would think. You have bedded me before wedding me." We both laughed loudly as if to ease the awkward tension between us. Dirk cupped my face and kissed me again. The heat between us grew again. The last barrier keeping us apart was gone. Our bodies moved in perfect synchronization. Dirk breathed heavily in my ear as I felt my breathing stop. My limbs seemed to move on their own, wrapping themselves around his body. Our breaths met up together as we pushed each other to the edge. My fingers dug into his back as waves of pleasure racked my body. I lost control and made my inner pleasure known to him.

"Wow." Dirk panted as he laid back onto the pillows. Sweat glistened his body but he had a tired smile on his face, "That's what I was so worried about?"

"Yes, yes it was. It's not so bad is it?" I laid on my stomach and cuddled closed to him. He wrapped his arm around my torso and ran his fingers over my spine. The feeling of his fingertips sent goosebumps all over my body.

"I can't believe Kana is proposing to Georgia." Dirk said suddenly, "That's such a huge step for them."

I looked up at him, "You think so? I think it's great. It'll be the first wedding for both Konohana and Bluebell. It'll be quite the party. I expect lots of whiskey and probably Hayate bringing the rings down the aisle." Dirk laughed at my comment, "Oh I haven't told you yet, Kana asked me to be his best man."

"Best man? So you get to plan his bachelor party? Isn't that breaking the cardinal rule?"

I laughed in Dirk's chest, "I didn't think of that but I guess so. So much for the whole idea of no girls. But come on, I'm one of the guys! I'm always up for talking about girls and beer!"

"Sureee, just keep thinking that love." He kissed my nose, "If you're one of the guys then I'm definitely a monkey's uncle.

I rolled my eyes, "You're so supportive Dirk." I started to laugh again.

"I try." He sighed, "I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel if I decided to Zephyr Town for a week? I've been thinking about it for a few weeks. I should really go see Ivan, it's been way too long since we've talked in person."

"I think that's a great idea!" I told him.

"Really? You think so? You wouldn't die if I left you for a while." He winked and kissed my forehead.

I snorted, "No! It would mean I would be able to breathe easier! I might be able to have a full night's rest."

He laughed, "Ouch my heart!" He mockingly grabbed his chest, "But seriously, you don't mind?"

"I do not mind at all. I think it's a wonderful idea! You can finally go hold your niece in your arms." I smiled, "You need a vacation. You've worked the whole year without a single break." I pointed out, "I'm sure Rutger and Ina can spare you for a week."

"What did I do to deserve you? You're an angel Lil." I pulled myself up and kissed him. I nestled my head on his shoulder and felt his hand move in circles on my naked back, "This is perfection." He murmured in my ear, "I don't want this moment to end."

"It doesn't have too. Not right now." I sighed with closed eyes. I felt sleep tugging at my mind. I felt a blanket land on top of my skin and my last resistance to sleep fall. He was right, it was perfection.


	15. music is-

AN: Hey everyone! Here is the update for this week! I know in the past I would update twice a week but with school that is very unlikely. So I am aiming to update at least once a week (fingers crossed!) Thank you for all the wonderful comments and support. I hope you all like it and I would love to hear your feedback!

* * *

><p>The crisp leaves crunched under my boots as I walked away from the barn. It was only the seventh of Fall but the trees already looked bare. Lafayette walked beside me happily. Betsy and her new friend, Janet, came trotting out of the barn. Everything was just perfect on the farm. The animals loved the wide-open spaces and without the crops to tend, I had less work to do in the mornings. These new free mornings left me with more time to forage in the mountain or visit. I wanted to see Dirk but I had to continuously remind myself that he was in Zephyr for the week. He had finally decided to go visit his brother and his niece. He would be back on Tuesday, the 15th, but I still missed him.<p>

"Good morning Lillian!" I heard my name from across the farm. I looked up to see Mikhail walking towards me, a friendly smile plastered on his face.

"Hi Mikhail," I met up with him at the fence.

"It's a beautiful morning isn't it?" He beamed at me. He looked around my farm and inhaled deeply, "The air is just so crisp and cool. It's very beneficial for the vocal chords. You sound like you are feeling well today Lillian."

"Totally," I agreed, "It's been one of the nicer mornings so far. It's going to be a cold fall though."

"I came to the same conclusion as well." He noted, "I was wondering if I could ask a favour of you?"

"What is it?"

"Well yesterday, Rutger approached me with the idea to have the music festival in Bluebell this year. I accepted without a second thought. Since I performed in Konohana last Fall, I see that it is only fair if I perform in Bluebell's this year. But I want to do something different than the festival last year."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"I had the idea of an accompanist for my piece this year. I would like to ask you to join me this year." He smiled.

I laughed loudly, "Me?" I continued to laugh, "What would I do?"

"Sing Lillian. You have quite the voice. I think it would compliment my playing quite well. You sing around the fire all the time. You even sang at your party last week. I have to say, your voice seems to inspire quite a lot of people."

"But that's for fun." I argued, "I can't sing in front of an audience! I'm not good enough for the music festival Mikhail."

"Your voice is quite lovely actually. I assure you Lillian; you will make the festival much better. Besides I would not be able to do this piece without you!" He begged me.

I sighed, "Alright fine. If you really need me then I'll do it." I can't believe I agreed to this.

He gripped my shoulders, "Oh thank you Lillian! You won't regret this! Would you like to practice this afternoon in the meadow?"  
>"Sure," I ran my fingers through my hair, "Why the hell not."<p>

"The festival is in three days. We'll have to probably spend most of the afternoon practicing. We'll work on lyrics today and tomorrow on the timing and such! Oh thank you Lillian! You do not realize how happy you have made me! Come to the meadow once you're finished your work and we'll commence the practice!" Mikhail smiled on last time. He said goodbye to me and walked off the farm with a strange spring in his step.

Lafayette barked at my feet. I looked down at him, "so do you think I can sing boy? Are we sure I won't embarrass myself?" He barked again before trotting off towards the cattle. I groaned loudly, what did I just get myself into.

I rode Byron up the meadow. This was a bad idea. I don't know why I agreed to sing in public, in front of everyone. What if they laughed? Byron whinnied loudly when we stopped at the meadow. Mikhail was sitting on a log, tuning his violin. I had only seen him perform with it twice and both times, he had enchanted me beyond belief. He had such talent and poise that Mikhail was here and not in a national orchestra. I knew little of him though he had lived in Konohana for at least a year now. He was always kind to me and to the other villagers but he was quiet. He roamed the mountains, practicing mostly. Sometimes you could hear his hauntingly beautiful pieces echoing through the mountain.

Mikhail glanced up when he heard Byron and a small smile broke onto his face, "Lillian! Hello!"

"Hey!" I hopped off Byron and let him graze in the grass, "All tuned up?"

"Yes, I am ready to begin." He grabbed a few sheets of paper, "Here is the music and lyrics for the song. It's called Scarborough Fair. Have you heard it before?"

I took the paper and read the music, "Vaguely." I murmured as I read the music, "A long time ago, I'm sure. But I've never sung it before." I hummed the notes as I read.

"Well then we'll have our work cut out for us, won't we?" He smiled. He positioned his violin, placing his chin on the chinrest and his fingers in position. He positioned his bow and began the first measures of the song. My voice cracked at first but soon found its strength. I knew I was blushing as I sang but I continued on, even with the knowledge that Mikhail was judging my voice. It was not a long song and there was a solo violin piece in between the chorus and the third stanza. I watched as Mikhail's fingers effortlessly moved around the neck of the violin. His eyes were closed as if he was taking in the music he was making. His breaths were even in time with the piece.

"That was quite good." Mikhail noted when we had finished, "For the first time that is."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just not used to singing like this." I said embarrassed.

"You have no need to apologize Lillian. You were splendid!" He complimented, "You really do have quite a lovely voice and you should not be ashamed of it."

I mumbled a thank you and looked down at the music sheets, "I have to ask, was I the first person you asked about singing?"

"You were the only person I asked. You were the only one I wanted to stand next to me on stage" He told me, "I do not doubt that there is wonderful singers in the villages but your voice has a quality that I needed. Your voice is raw and yet has this magical sense to it. When I listen to you sing, I hear fairies and elves. I can imagine all the fantastical beings that consume our dreams. I believe that fairy tales could be real. You have truly one of the most unique voices I have had the pleasure to listen to. If you had declined my offer then I would have chosen a different piece without vocals."

I broke out into a smile, "Wow. I had no idea… thank you for saying that Mikhail." I sat down on the log.

"You do not need to thank me Lillian, I am only telling the truth."

"It's funny, I haven't performed musically since my mother died a few years ago. I used to perform the piano actually. It was a big part of my childhood." I twisted my fingers, "I forgot what it feels like to perform with a purpose."

"You lost your mother as well?" He put down his violin.

"Cancer. My father passed on as well two years ago now." I sighed, "What would they think of my life now. They supported me without any questions and I don't feel like I have that anymore. I still feel so alone sometimes, even though I am surrounded by wonderful people. Fall is always the worst for me. My father passed away in the fall, a few days before my birthday in fact, and it was always my mum's favourite season. This is just the time of the year when I miss them the most." I shook my thoughts of my head, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to damper the mood or anything."

"Don't apologize Lillian. I know that feeling. I lost my parents when I was quite young due to an accident. I spent most of my childhood in the homes of teachers, training me to the best. They had my life planned out for me but I don't think they ever considered that I maybe didn't want to play violin. I've always known I was going to play the violin because that was what I was taught to believe. I think if my parents had lived, they would have wanted me to be happy. They would not force me to continue to play if had not wished it. You lose your greatest supporters when you lose parents." He smiled sadly, "I think your parents would be proud of who you are no matter what. I know we don't know each other very well but I am on your side Lillian. I may not have known your family but I believe, without a doubt in my mind, that they would be extremely proud of you. That is what I think when I wonder what my parents would think of me."

"Thank you Mikhail, that means a lot. Sometimes the people here don't truly understand what it is like to feel truly alone in this world."

"No one is truly alone."

"Yes I know." I nodded, "But it doesn't feel like that sometimes. People come and go in life so easily. You and I have learned that lesson."

"That is why we cherish the moments we had with them. We can never forget how happy they have made us even for the briefest moment. That is one of the joys of life. I use the memories I have of my family to fuel my music. I always play from my heart." He laid his hand on his heart, "Because I know that is where the most precious memories come from. You are a strong woman Lillian. You underestimate your inner strength. Yes, it is hard sometimes, but I know you will pull through it."

As I listened to Mikhail's words, I felt a stray tear fall from my eye. I wiped it away before Mikhail could notice, "Enough of this sad crap. We have to practice don't we?" I stood up with a laugh.

"Yes!" He placed his violin back in position, "Now let us try it again. We only have three days to be the best we can be!" He played the intro again and I continued to sing into the night.


	16. -the memories of my home

AN: Hey everyone! here is the latest instalment! Sorry about being late about it but i had a pretty hectic week! Next instalment should be up later this week!

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><p>As I walked the familiar trail towards the farm, my skin tingled with excitement. I tightened my grip on my suitcase handle and hiked up the small hill. I could see the windmills spinning in the distance and the familiar sound of the rushing water. I was back. I walked along towards my family's new home, breathing in the air and feeling the strong wind against my body. Konohana and Zephyr may have some similarities but Konohana never had the wind like Zephyr did. The wind was a part of the culture and I never realized I missed it till it brushed itself against my skin. I heard whistling coming from the field beside the small farmhouse. My stomach did the familiar flip inside as I put down my bags and ran towards her. Gretel.<p>

Gretel saw me running towards her and started waving her arms in the air, "HEYYY!" She shouted happily, "Look what the cat dragged in!" I laughed loudly as I threw my arms around her waist and spun her around.

"You are a sight for sore eyes Gretel!" I exclaimed, "How long has it been?"

"At least two years Dirk!" She rested her hands on my shoulders, "I'm so glad you're back! But I'm sure that no one is more excited than your brother, he's been talking about this for days on end. He's been talking my ear off!"

"Ivan? Are you sure we thinking about the same person here? Zephyr can't have changed that much!" I exclaimed.

Gretel led me to the house, "It's improved more since you left but no, Zephyr hasn't changed at all. The Bazaar is still the best in the world and everyone is still living here. You're the only one who had the guts to actually leave! Antoinette still says she's going to move to the city but she's still here." Gretel sighed, "I've missed you Dirk. It hasn't quite been the same without you."

I shook my head, "You haven't missed me. You've missed my wit and sarcasm. I can't imagine Ivan is nothing but serious all the time."

Gretel laughed softly, "Fair enough. Now come on, let's go see your brother." She opened the wooden door and pushed me through. Her house was exactly how I remembered it. The wood paneled walls were plastered with painting and draperies. Books were in piles around the floor and I could smell cinnamon wafting in the air. Ivan was sitting properly in an armchair, reading of course. He looked proper as always. His purple jacket was pressed and immaculate. His hair was combed away from his face and his necktie was tied perfectly. He mouthed the words he read, staring intensely at the page. He didn't even seem to notice that Gretel and I had entered.

"I see you have not changed at all!" I grabbed the book from Ivan's hands with a smile, "You're so absorbed in your book, you didn't even notice me come in!"

Ivan's eyebrow shot up but he had a smile on his lips, "And I see you haven't changed at all either, interrupting me while I'm reading. You know how much I hate that." He rose from his chair and pulled me into a tight hug, "Welcome home little brother."

I clapped my hands on his back, "It's not home anymore Ivan but I'm glad I'm back."

"Yes, you are right. I apologize. But in a way, Zephyr will always be home to you right? But what matters now is that you are here! You will have to tell me everything about Konohana! I expect it is nothing like Zephyr. It does not have the Bazaar."

"Or windmills," I added, "It's really great. I'll tell you everything. "

"I want to hear about this girl." Gretel piped in.

"Gretel!" Ivan looked at her horrified, "He's only been here for five minutes. We talked about this," He looked at me, "We were going to wait for you to tell us about her. We-" he shook his head at Gretel, "-were not going to ask."

"I'm impatient." She shrugged, "the way both of you talk about this girl, I'm assuming she's going to be my sister-in-law and I want to know her!"

"All in due time," I smiled, "But first, I want to meet the new girl in my life." I approached the crib at the back of the house. I peered inside and saw my niece, sleeping peacefully. She had the same hair as Ivan and I but the rest of her looked like Gretel. I gently touched her tiny fist. Alison moved slightly, opening her fingers and closing them again. She was beautiful.

"Say hello to Uncle Dirk." Gretel stood beside me. She gently laid her hand on Alison's forehead, "He lives very far away but he came all the way here just to see you. Do you want to hold her?"

"Oh I couldn't! She's sleeping, I don't want to wake her!" I objected but Gretel already had lifted Alison out of her crib.

"Nonsense. She sleeps through everything. I don't think there has ever been a child as easy as her. She sleeps through the whole night and isn't fussy at all. She's an angel." She placed Alison into my arms. I felt my breathing stop. She was so tiny but she was my family. My emotions ran through my body as I held the little baby. She had tiny chubby red cheeks and beautiful lashes.

"Goddess, she's so beautiful. I don't think I've seen such a beautiful baby."

"You're just saying that because she's your niece." Ivan interjected.

"Maybe." I smirked, "But I hope she inherited my wit. We don't need any more seriousness in this family." I kissed the top of Alison's head. Her skin was so soft. I felt the tears well up in my eyes. The small life laying in my hands would achieve so much. I just knew it. She was going to be as intelligent as her father and as caring as her mother. But best of all, she's going to live in such a loving family and never feel alone. She will always have someone on her side.

"Thinking about wanting one of your own?" Gretel asked.

I nodded, "One day. But for right now, I think I'll just stick with being cool ol' uncle Dirk." I laid her back down in her crib. She jigged her arms slightly before laying still, her mouth puckering in her sleep. I sat down at the kitchen table and laid my face on my hands.

"Okay I've waited long enough." Gretel sat down across from me, "tell me about Lillian! Who is this girl who keeps you from moving back here?"

"Yes," Ivan sat down next to me, "I want to hear more about her. You've been awful secretive about her. Is she smart?"

I rolled my eyes, "Does that really matter Ivan?"

He shot me a look, "Of course not. I was just wondering. Don't be rude Dirk." He scolded me.

"I don't live here anymore, you can't scold me anymore. I'm twenty-five years old, you have to stop treating me like I'm a little kid." I told him.

"Both of you!" Gretel hissed, "Stop it! Dirk," She looked at me, "don't sass your brother. And Ivan," she turned to her husband, "Don't treat your brother like he's five. Now go on Dirk!"

I didn't speak for a minute. I thought hard about Lillian. I couldn't explain her without sounding like a lovesick dope, "Well she's a rancher in the neighbouring town of Bluebell. She used to live in Konohana but she decided to focus more on animals rather than crops so she moved to the vacant farm in Bluebell. She's sarcastic and witty. She loves old jazz music and dancing in her pjs at three A.M. She loves animals. She has two dogs, a cat, and an owl. She cares about her friends so much and just loves unconditionally. And she argues like crazy, if you think Ivan and I argue a lot, you'd be surprised how much Lillian and I argue but it works out in the end. " I sighed deeply, "I could go on, but all in all she's amazing. It took me a long time to realize it but she's the one for me. She's my…soulmate. I'm thinking I'm going to propose when I go home." I smiled.

Gretel shrieked and jumped out of her chair, her blonde hair bouncing off her shoulders, "Really? Oh Dirk I'm so happy! Finally, someone will understand what it's like being married into this family! And a farmer! Wow, I can't believe it. It looks like we'll have a lot in common." She winked at me.

"This is a big step for you Dirk." Ivan smiled at me, "I'm really impressed. Who would have thought that my little brother would finally settle down! It's very mature of you." He noted. I gave them my thanks but could feel the heat on my cheeks, "Now come on, I have to take you into town! Everyone is so excited to see you! Especially Kevin. I think he has a list of pranks he wants to try out now that you're back."

"Alright let's do it!" I said cheerfully. Gretel waved us off as we walked down the mountain towards town. We didn't speak and I could feel the awkward space between us. I looked at my brother and he was staring ahead of us but I knew he was in the midst of a debate in his mind, "If you want to say something, just say it."

"No it's nothing." Ivan declared.

"Ivan." I raised my eyebrows, "Come on, you're my brother. Just fess up."

"You might not want to hear what I say." He countered. I shot him a look and he relented, "Fine. Dirk, is your life in Konohana the life you want?"

I racked my brain, "I don't understand." I finally said.

"What I mean to say is, you're a mailman. Is that where you see yourself in four years?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I try not to think that far ahead. Besides you know me, I'm a spontaneous person. I don't like making long-term plans."

"But you need to start considering it." Ivan scolded me, "If you want to get married like you said earlier, then you have to settle down."

"Who says I have to?" I remarked, "Lillian and I could just travel. We could keep the farm closed up if we wanted to go back. I don't see why just because getting married means I have to cement myself to one place. There's a whole world out there just waiting to be explored." I shoved my hands into my pockets, "I just heard of a place called the Sunshine Islands, where islands have been rising out of the ocean without any cause or explanation. Doesn't that sound awesome?"

"I suppose." Ivan sighed, "I'm just worried about you Dirk. I don't see why you can't come back home here and work at the café again."

"As a waiter?" I grimaced, "Come on Ivan. That's more of a dead end job that a mailman." I threw my arm around my brother's shoulders, "You do not need to worry about me Ivan. This will always be home to me. But I can't live here again, I want to travel and I want to experience the world. I would like your support in this, not as my guardian but as my brother."

He finally smiled and wrapped his around my shoulders, "Alright. I may not understand this desire of yours but I will support you. But you better write me letters from wherever you are. And bring Lillian here okay? I want to meet this girl who's taken my brother away from me."

"Promise." I smiled. We laughed as we walked down to the village, arm in arm just like old times.


	17. are we on each other's sides?

AN: Hey everyone! Here is the next instalment! Have a wonderful week! I will update again next week! Thanks for all the support! Love you all!

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><p>"You have a dress right?" Mikhail asked me when I reached the meadow on Fall 9th. The Music festival was tomorrow and it was safe to say that Mikhail was suffering from a lot of anxiety. We had spent the past two afternoons practicing almost to perfection but it did nothing to calm Mikhail's nerves. To him, this festival was the pinnacle of his year. He could perform and show the world his talent. I did my best to calm him but to no avail.<p>

"Yes." I reassured him for the second time that day, "I told you yesterday, Nori finished the white dress I asked for. You're lucky I had all the materials she needed or I would be performing in my overalls." I tried to make a joke but it only made Mikhail more anxious.

"But you have it in your possession?" He said frantic, "You won't be wearing your overalls right?"

"Yes Mikhail." I rested my hand on his arm reassuringly, "Relax. Everything is ready for the festival tomorrow. Let's just practice then you go have an early night. Where's your violin?" I looked around him.

His face paled, "I forgot it. Oh goddess, of all days!" He slapped his palm to his forehead, "I left it in my room. I was practicing late last night."

"It's okay!" I eased him onto the log, "We'll just relax today. We're prepared for tomorrow! You even said yesterday, we couldn't get any better!"

Mikhail gently placed his hand on top of mine, "Alright," He breathed in deeply, "Thank you Lillian. You always know how to calm people down." I pulled my hand away from his arm and sat next to him, "I really want to thank you again for doing this. I know I was asking a lot of you, to come out of your comfort zone and sing in front of the whole village. It's truly very courageous of you. I'm still half-surprised you even said yes to it."

"It's funny, I'm not really sure why I said yes. But I'm glad I did. I'm glad I got to know you better Mikhail, you are really a wonderful person." I told him. I was telling him the truth. I was pleasantly surprised by Mikhail and enjoyed our long practices. He always had a gentle smile on his face and was never condescending to me. Though he had a pretentious air around him, his demeanour was a kind one. He did not look down on me because of my job or my choices in life.

"I am really glad you said that to me Lillian. It gives me the strength to speak my mind to you."

"You can always tell me what's going through your head, you know. I'm not a judgemental person, well most of the time." I shot him a sly smile.

"Of course. But the matters in my head match the matters passing through my heart. I've been trying to find the words needed to tell you but I have finally found the courage to speak them. I had ulterior motives for asking you to join me in this piece. I asked you to join me not because I needed an accompanist

. I need to tell you Lillian that you are the most remarkable woman I have ever laid eyes on. I adore you whole-heartedly. You consume my thoughts and I do fear that I may not be able to live without you." He confessed. He gently raised his hand to my cheek but I pulled away from his grasp.

"Mikhail…" I breathed out, my body radiating with shock "I'm flattered. But I love Dirk. I'm with him."

He looked at me in surprise, "But he has returned to his hometown, has he not? He has left you here alone."

"He's coming back." I wrapped my arms around my knees, "He's only there to visit his brother."

Mikhail rose from the log, "Forgive me. I have acted irrationally. I must go." He began to walk away.

I got up and grabbed his arm, "Mikhail wait! Don't leave! Let's just talk about this." He spun around to face me. But he looked strange. He had a deranged look in his eyes. He looked at my hand clutching his coat then at my face. Before I could respond, he grabbed me and kissed me fiercely. I struggled against his strength. His hands groped my body and he slithered his tongue into my mouth. But eventually forced myself away after what felt like forever. My hand connected loudly with his right cheek. I covered my mouth with my hands. The deranged look had disappeared from Mikhail's face to one of horror and disgust.

"L-Lillian," he stammered, "Oh goddess, please forgive me. I did not mean too." He reached out to touch me but I backed away out of his reach.

"Don't touch me." I shrank away from him, "Don't you ever touch me again. You just forced yourself on me! I understand your feelings and I am flattered but I do not feel the same way. But my kindness to you is not permission to kiss me! I told you my feelings and you ignored it." I felt tears rimming my eyes but they did not fall. I would not cry in front of him like a little girl. I would stand my ground.

"I know." He nodded, "I don't know what came over me. It was an impulse. I don't know maybe I thought when I kissed you, you would-"

"Would what? Decide that I did love you? That it would be true love's first kiss? It doesn't work like that Mikhail! This is not some fairy tale and I am not your fairy princess. I have a boyfriend whom I love with all my heart. I am so sorry but I could never love you like how I love him."

He hung his head slightly, "I understand completely. I am sorry for taking advantage of you like that. It was most unbecoming of me." He sighed, "I expect this means that you will not do the concert tomorrow then?"

I shook my head, "No way. We worked too damn hard. I'm going up there and I'm going to sing my heart out."

His face lit up, "You will?"

"I'm not doing it for you Mikhail," I warned, "I'm doing it for myself. I accepted it as a favour to you and I always follow through. We are going to pretend like the kiss never happened."

"As you wish Lillian. I think I should still go. I've embarrassed myself as well as halted our blooming friendship. I do feel unbelievably stupid but I think you should know, I do not regret what I confessed to you. Every word I spoke was the truth. I fear I may have fallen in love with you and nothing will change that. Even knowing that you find happiness in another's arms, it does not deter my feelings for you. Perhaps it was foolish of me to speak my true feelings without knowing the truth about Dirk's departure but I do not hold any guilt or regret. I did not tell you my feelings in a hope that you would forsake your relationship with Dirk. I also did not wish to make your life more difficult if I did so. I apologize." He nodded his head slightly; "I'll see you tomorrow at the festival." He walked away, leaving me standing with clenched fists. I thought back to our moment a few days before. He was on my side. I felt a connection to him, two orphans trying to survive through this world. I wish…I wish nothing had changed. I ran from the meadow, not looking back once. I ran to my farm, trying to outrun the thoughts. How could I blame him? He made a mistake. Everyone made mistakes. I made horrible mistakes and yet I never felt blame from others. How could I be angry and bitter towards Mikhail for speaking his feelings? Him kissing me was wrong. But the admission of his feelings was not. Though I wish I had never heard it, I will not hold it against him…I hope. This whole situation angered me. I opened the door to my farmhouse and slammed it shut.

"Woah, someone's in a bad mood!" I heard a familiar chuckle in front of me. I looked up and Dirk was sitting on my kitchen table, reading a book. My heart pounded. He threw the book on the table and stood up.

"Dirk!" I cried, rushing into his arms, "I thought you were still in Zephyr!"

"I decided to come back a bit early. Kana called me to let me know about the music festival. Do you really think I was going to miss your stage debut?" He smiled. He gently wrapped me into his arms and I found comfort in them. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and placed my head on his chest. I heard his familiar heartbeat beneath his ribcage. He kissed the top of my head as always.

"I'll have to go have a word with Kana later." I laughed, "Now I get to embarrass myself in front of you too. At least I'll look pretty doing it."

"You'll be perfect, as always. I can't wait to hear Mikhail too! His playing is astounding, this will probably be the best music festival in the history of both towns!" He said cheerfully.

"Stop exaggerating!" I rolled my eyes, "It won't be any different!"

"Goddess I missed you. I love my brother but you're much better company." He ran his fingers over my cheeks, "All he would talk about is his pupils and how smart Alison is. I saw her with my own two eyes; she's definitely not going to be the scholar Ivan wants! She's too much like her mother."

"I missed you too." I reached up and kissed him, "It was odd not seeing your dorky face around."

"Oh dorky is it? Well maybe I should just take my dorky face back to Ivan's!" He mockingly grabbed his bag; "They obviously care about me more there."

"Oh stop!" I rolled my eyes, "You big dope. I'm only kidding."

"I know." He smiled, "And I missed that about you." he sat at the table, "Oh man, wait till you hear the stories from Zephyr. That place hasn't changed at all yet there is all this drama involving two of the girls and some traveller. It's ridiculous."

"I can't wait." I smiled.

"Oh I have an idea!" Dirk perked his head up and went to my music player, "Come on, let's dance." He grabbed my hand as 'Stars fell on Alabama' played out of my speakers.

"I thought you didn't dance?" I laughed, "What happened to you in Zephyr?"

Dirk twirled me, "Nothing! I just remembered how you said you've always wanted to dance to this song and I want it to be with me! All I want is to make you happy."

I rested my head upon his shoulder, "Dirk I am the happiest I have been in a long time."

"Then what's wrong? You've had this expression on your face and I know you, something's bothering you." He soothed, he patted my hair and held me tight. I couldn't hide from him. That isn't the type of relationship we have. We have always been honest with each other and I'm not going to break that now.

"I need to tell you something."


End file.
